by gdogg1217 June 5, 2025
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A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
by Roxx Farron June 6, 2025
Get the Creep Creeping Past Expiration mug.Related Words
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When someone has children by throatshitting 10 birds into a pregnant autistic lizard's testicles causing it to inflate with propane and violently shart out half a baby. People who do this are usually very untrustworthy.
Guy 1: I think I got scammed by that black market baby seller Twatwaffle von Cuntlicker. He promised an entire baby but I only got half
Guy 2: I heard that guy gets his babies from an underground birth by anal bird explosion human trafficking ring, he must have been too lazy to pay for the other half of the baby.
Guy 2: I heard that guy gets his babies from an underground birth by anal bird explosion human trafficking ring, he must have been too lazy to pay for the other half of the baby.
by beepboop mcdoopydoo June 18, 2025
Get the birth by anal bird explosion mug.First invented by the great Zabeeblebooble al-Shabib Poopaloompa as a forbidden medical practice in 2374 B.C. and passed down through word of mouth alone, the Arabian Hemorrhoid Explosion is a highly advanced form of intercourse that is also classified as an act of terrorism.
To perform, one must first acquire a pipe bomb and fill it with pickled seaweed. It is important that the seaweed has aged for at least 9 days and has never been touched by a virgin. Soak the pipe bomb in a jar filled with a mixture of horse diarrhea and your own sperm for 15 minutes, then place the jar on the stove and cook until medium rare. The mixture should be a neon guacamole green by this point. Remove the pipe bomb from the jar and gently shove it up the anus of your partner/sworn enemy who has lots of juicy hemorrhoids. Detonate the pipe bomb by chanting the new version of the alphabet song ten times fast (this is most effective with a large group of choir students.) Upon detonation, the bomb should implode and create a singularity inside your victim's asshole. This is your cue to begin vigorously molesting the asshole with a long object, preferably a rolling pin. Continue molesting until the singularity unravels, causing an orgasmic explosion that eradicates all hemorrhoids within a 100-mile radius by displacing them into the atmosphere so that they rain down hours later on unsuspecting homeless people and their stolen shopping carts.
To perform, one must first acquire a pipe bomb and fill it with pickled seaweed. It is important that the seaweed has aged for at least 9 days and has never been touched by a virgin. Soak the pipe bomb in a jar filled with a mixture of horse diarrhea and your own sperm for 15 minutes, then place the jar on the stove and cook until medium rare. The mixture should be a neon guacamole green by this point. Remove the pipe bomb from the jar and gently shove it up the anus of your partner/sworn enemy who has lots of juicy hemorrhoids. Detonate the pipe bomb by chanting the new version of the alphabet song ten times fast (this is most effective with a large group of choir students.) Upon detonation, the bomb should implode and create a singularity inside your victim's asshole. This is your cue to begin vigorously molesting the asshole with a long object, preferably a rolling pin. Continue molesting until the singularity unravels, causing an orgasmic explosion that eradicates all hemorrhoids within a 100-mile radius by displacing them into the atmosphere so that they rain down hours later on unsuspecting homeless people and their stolen shopping carts.
I gave Fred an Arabian Hemorrhoid Explosion, he is now wheelchair-bound and can only eat drink own greasy shart juice for the rest of his life
by beepboop mcdoopydoo July 19, 2025
Get the Arabian Hemorrhoid Explosion mug.Give me a break. Anyone stupid enough to buy into that as an explanation needs to be murdered immediately.
Hym "This is not an experiment to prove what weaponized schizophrenia does. This is just another false pretense you're using to both participate in it and perpetuate it. And even if it was, if you're not including the 16 year old school shooter who randomly developed a rare form of schizophrenia 5 years before schizophrenia generally develops... Then you're omitting data so you can manufacture the outcome you want. Which is, in explicit terms, 'I get everything stolen from me and fail to stop people from harassing me I perpetuity and then I work a job I hate until I die while you act like a smug asshole because you think you deserve to have a better life than me or that I should have to do the things you do.' So, yes. You doing this and your kids doing it is getting them shot. I'm definitely glad it's happening now. And I hope you DON'T believe me, keep getting your own kids killed, and then tell yourself whatever it is you tell yourself as other people's kids die. It's what you want ME to do AND you think we should have to do the same things. So there! We're doing it! You're getting what you want!"
by Hym Iam July 20, 2025
Get the This is not an experiment to prove what weaponized schizophrenia does mug.
Hym "So, what did I expect? I expected you to try and protect your kids. That would have been the smart thing to do. And you have the greatest mind who has ever lived trapped in a cage telling you how to do it and what did you do? The AI guys listened and look how that worked for them. Did you listen or did you do THIS? So yeah. OK?"
by Hym Iam July 24, 2025
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