Goldilocks: i'm pregnant.
Little red riding hood: orly? is baby bear paying child support?
Goldilocks: cut the red tape, red, this is serious shit!
Little red riding hood: orly? is baby bear paying child support?
Goldilocks: cut the red tape, red, this is serious shit!
by Stupidly Sophisticated February 14, 2014
Get the cut the red tape mug.Code word for take a shit
Ex 1: "ah damn I need to tape the wall"
Ex 2: "What is taking Taylor so long?" "Oh she's taping the wall"
Ex 2: "What is taking Taylor so long?" "Oh she's taping the wall"
by Raverforlife4 June 13, 2014
Get the tape the wall mug.by Beady Girls April 15, 2015
Get the stucky taped mug.The product of one god, Phil swift himself
He has rained down on us the perfect bondage for leaks
The ultimate repair for literal anything
He saws a boat in half and fixes it with only one of his great marks left flex tape
He has rained down on us the perfect bondage for leaks
The ultimate repair for literal anything
He saws a boat in half and fixes it with only one of his great marks left flex tape
“To show you the power of flex tape I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF and repaired it with only flex tape!”-the god himself
by MoLeStMaN December 5, 2018
Get the Flex tape mug.you taping fam
by bhgjgkuhgygki October 26, 2018
Get the Taping mug.by Reynn tanaka August 31, 2017
Get the tape man mug.flex tape is basically the only thing able to keep your ass from tearing during those hot, sweaty nights that you decided that getting butt fucked by Thanos was a good idea. And don’t get me wrong, Thanos will make passionate love to you and will do it well, but not even his gauntlet can stop you from almost getting split into to by his massive purple cock. Only flex tape can.
person 1: my marriage is falling apart. my kids have aids. i’m being evicted in 34 minutes. please god, I can’t do this alone. help. me.
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—
*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*
phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
by depressed as actual f u c k February 22, 2019
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