The most gangster man in this universe. He's got the personality, muscles and the cock to make you scream with goodness
by Grimmreaper97 January 19, 2021
Get the Tom Cruisemug. Real name Tom Cruz. An egotistical cocky self-absorbed shitbrat who plays himself in every single movie he's been in. His career really started taking off when he made that now iconic scene of scooting on the floor, flopping on a couch and lip-synching to an old Bob Seger song. After all this time, it's not funny anymore. He hit the big time with 'Top Gun', a 'classic' for armchair generals who would cheer future wars on TV and who get boners from flipping people off.
But there's more. Several marriages, and he's a zealous advocate for the proto-New Age dumbshit cult of Scientology. He believes that humanity is from Venus and migrated to Earth and it's time to contact the 'Thetans' by placing thr hands on a couple of tin cans. He thinks diet and exercise cures post-birth depression in new mothers and says that meds are psychiatry are bunk.
Not only that, when he dated and plugged the young starfucker Katie Holmes, he made a total ass of himself by jumping and stepping on a couch during an OPRAH episode like a little kid. He and Katie wed) (shotgun) and daughter Suri arrived. Now divorced, Katie keeps on chasing movie stars and Tom has shit all over his face, and he's older too. And everyone by now knows about his arrogance.
But there's more. Several marriages, and he's a zealous advocate for the proto-New Age dumbshit cult of Scientology. He believes that humanity is from Venus and migrated to Earth and it's time to contact the 'Thetans' by placing thr hands on a couple of tin cans. He thinks diet and exercise cures post-birth depression in new mothers and says that meds are psychiatry are bunk.
Not only that, when he dated and plugged the young starfucker Katie Holmes, he made a total ass of himself by jumping and stepping on a couch during an OPRAH episode like a little kid. He and Katie wed) (shotgun) and daughter Suri arrived. Now divorced, Katie keeps on chasing movie stars and Tom has shit all over his face, and he's older too. And everyone by now knows about his arrogance.
1. I was in the Navy during the time 'Top gun' came out. Part of that film was made on the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Enterprise. The next year I was stationed in San Francisco Bay where the Enterprise was docked and every sailor I met from that ship told me that Tom Cruise was an egotistical haughty sack o' douche who treated everyone there as his servants.
2. Tom Cruise acted his cocky self in the film 'The Color of Money' in 1987 but he wasn't the major star, Paul Newman was. That's what saved the movie from the trash heap, Paul Newman has CLASS.
3. During the 2003-2011 Iraq War Tom Cruise sassed off about protestors 'not being American' yet HE never served. FUCK HIM!!!!
4. Supposedly a Top Gun sequel is coming out 'soon', 36 years after the original. As a veteran, I can tell you already not only is it unrealistic but it's guaranteed to be shit. After all these wars during the past 20-30 years fucking up the social and economic fabric of America, we don't need it. I hope it bombs. Tom Cruise is no hot-shot, he's a washed out dum-dum boy. For the record, I DON'T think he's gay.
2. Tom Cruise acted his cocky self in the film 'The Color of Money' in 1987 but he wasn't the major star, Paul Newman was. That's what saved the movie from the trash heap, Paul Newman has CLASS.
3. During the 2003-2011 Iraq War Tom Cruise sassed off about protestors 'not being American' yet HE never served. FUCK HIM!!!!
4. Supposedly a Top Gun sequel is coming out 'soon', 36 years after the original. As a veteran, I can tell you already not only is it unrealistic but it's guaranteed to be shit. After all these wars during the past 20-30 years fucking up the social and economic fabric of America, we don't need it. I hope it bombs. Tom Cruise is no hot-shot, he's a washed out dum-dum boy. For the record, I DON'T think he's gay.
by I Saw U2 Live Twice April 12, 2022
Get the Tom Cruisemug. Carter Cruise (born April 24, 1991) is the stage name of an American DJ, producer, model, and pornographic actress.
by .............,. February 20, 2019
Get the carter cruisemug. strapping an explosive device to a moderately sized mammal (preferably a llama) and dropping it out of an aircraft no higher than 30000ft
dont mess with me or ill launch my low-altitude cruise mammal at you
i have a low-altitude cruise mammal on my plane
i wish i had a low-altitude cruise mammal
i have a low-altitude cruise mammal on my plane
i wish i had a low-altitude cruise mammal
by otteb_hershelski May 10, 2011
Get the low-altitude cruise mammalmug. A failed business proposal where customers get to pay to go on "cruises" which are driven by a man named Jose. These cruises allow the passengers to smoke as much weed as they want and venture to any place around the city that they desire.
Andy: Yo i just copped a zip, lets get a jose cruise and smoke the whole thing
Seth: dude are you fucking stupid? Thats going to cost us like $500 with gas being so expensive
Andy: Yeah your right. Who the fuck would pay for that?
Seth: dude are you fucking stupid? Thats going to cost us like $500 with gas being so expensive
Andy: Yeah your right. Who the fuck would pay for that?
by Whoopi/Hafner nems March 24, 2022
Get the Jose Cruisemug. 
Fat out of shape, white people on vacation sunburnt as hell covered in white pasty sunscreen, wearing tie-dyed shirts that are oversized that don’t fit them or has has a destination logo on them with baggy, swimsuits, and wearing Jesus sandals with socks that are soaking wet and disgusting and probably been clean properly in a week that probably stuffed their faces full of buffet and open bar for a week straight
by werdokter April 13, 2024
Get the Cruise ship trashmug.