An Absolute Carrot is someone who isn't completely tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant; yet is just tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant enough to be agitating to others around them. These types of people are just discrete enough to the point where most people who actually interact with them understand they are deeply flawed, however, everyone else thinks that they are a great guy.
Mike: I have no clue why everyone invited Steven to come to Applebees with us, he told a 9/11 joke to the waitress.
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!
by EliTried December 21, 2021
Get the Absolute Carrotmug. by tuco_diaz September 30, 2022
Get the Absolutely Imperativemug. An absolute melon is the person who can only say the most useless answers that contribute nothing the the conversation. They are always looking for attention and have IQ's lower than 4.
by waitwhatdoiputinhereagain August 18, 2023
Get the absolute melonmug. Liverpool BMX president Neil Cameron said, despite the name, Kama Kazi is a "lovely bloke", "great with the kids" and also an "absolute unit".
by Delbosco October 14, 2021
Get the absolute unitmug. Not just a regular madman, this madman is a hardcore, vodka drinking, possibly Russian madman who has no limits other than to absolutely ruin themselves or at least try to and partake in the most reckless scenarios since takeshi's castle.
Ah yes my mate Greg
Other day he got fucked and decided to do a piss off a cliff and fell about 20ft bollock naked.
What an absolut madman
Other day he got fucked and decided to do a piss off a cliff and fell about 20ft bollock naked.
What an absolut madman
by dreams of Jupiter May 6, 2020
Get the Absolut madmanmug. The comparison of two items with properties. The first being that one average item trumps the other average item but if both items are "good" then the reverese is true and item 2 becomes better.
grass absolutes turf.
meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde
meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde
by Oh My Goodness :O December 31, 2024
Get the absolutesmug. When the vibrations from your phone cause your desk to catch alight. Typically when the Falcons hit 20+ booked in a single day.
by AdamGgGg October 21, 2021
Get the Bring the absolute firemug.