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Toilet paper

oh fucking shit, i'm out of toilet paper
should i use my socks or my roommates towel?
by piebot October 28, 2003
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toilet

A seat-shaped object leading to a pipe which, in turn, leads to the sewers. Used to dispose of bodily waste - though urine is often disposed of on the floor around the base of the toilet. A toilet is a source of much hilarity with schoolboys or those with similar ideas about humour (like me, for example). Also used in insults (eg: "you smell like a public toilet"). A toilet is a place the Queen never has to visit (through some miracle of biology, presumably). People who are sick in the toilet are said to be "talking down the big white telephone". Although some toilets I've seen are so filthy their original colour is long lost in the mists of time.
In my old school someone took something out of a toilet and smeared it across a classroom wall. The teacher was adamant that the culprit would be made to clean it off. The guilty party was never revealed, so the shat stayed on the wall and festered for years after. This was a classroom used as a lunch-hall. What a charming school.
by Stormsworder May 31, 2007
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Asda Toilets

A place many feel sorry for because it repeatedly gets filled with Hill Biscuits by Hooligans. These Hooligans also tend to dump on the shitty Hill Biscuits and not flush.
DAD: What have you been doing lately?

MONK: Well, there were too many Hill Biscuits in the SNUF Bag so I bogged em in the Asda toilets and shat on em.
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Toilet Sausage

A slang term used to refer to going to the bath and taking a poop, dump, crap,deuce, and ext.

The act of a human making a sausage shaped poop/turd and depositing the poop/turd into the toilet.
"That pizza has gone right threw me. I have to go make some toilet sausage."
by Secrect Destroyer February 8, 2009
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toilet paper eggs

the curled up bits of toilet paper left in your bum hairs after you wipe too hard with cheap toilet paper after a shit
Ah man, that bog roll has left me with toilet paper eggs in my ass nest..

Bev was not impressed by his dads new tattoo, so he dropped his duds to give his dad a brown eye and his dad said "damn boy, you got toilet paper eggs hatching in your anus"
by Katey Kate Kat Ka K March 10, 2014
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Toilet Seat

Noun. The left over hair on a male head after the balding process is complete. The hair on the back and sides of the head.
"Wow! I haven't seen Bob in years! He's got a full blown toilet seat!
by Domenico Tavella September 26, 2006
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