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Why am I reading this?

The first words that pop into your head when you read something so indescribably horrid, foul, unhallowed and profane that all your belief in humanity vanishes, replaced with a searing hate of all fanfiction writers and suethors in the civilized universe.
Examples: Harry Potter fanfics, Pokemon fanfics, House of Night fanfics
Let's see... Yeah, I like HoN. Zoey's a Sue, but well... What is this? She can't even write. ZoeyxEric? Unoriginal. Issat a sex sce- why am I reading this?
by Eresh May 12, 2010
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INTERNET DATING REALITY

While many beautiful women may post their profile and picture on an internet dating site...the only ones that you MR. AVERAGE JOE HETEROSEXUAL will hook up with are the 5's...and SINGLE MOTHERS.The 8,9,10 girl has her picture up for ego-grat
purposes.She's only available if you can somehow PROVE INCOME.
You know what I mean.
HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #1:"It's been awhile.I just had to clear the pipes.Hooked up with this cute single mom off MATCH.Not goin' back."

HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #2:"Yeah...I'm doin'okay now but awhile back I found myself in bed with this gnarly 5 off MYSPACE.I guess that's just INTERNET DATING REALITY."
by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006
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Related Words

reality chaser

Alcohol. Just as a regular chaser is something good-tasting following an unpleasant drink, a reality chaser follows the biggest unpleasantry of all; real life.
Shit, I got fired AND my car's been toed? Methinks this calls for a reality chaser.
by xxcutyourhairxx May 16, 2006
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Realistic

The brand name Radio Shack used for most of there electronics sold from the late 1960's until the early 1990's when the brand name was changed over to Optimus.
Hey Brotha..., Radio Shack has a huge clearance sale on most of there Realistic Stereo/Amplifiers, TV's, CD Players, Cassette/8-Track Players, Turntables, etc...

Ight Dogg, I can dig that brand...
by Ravpaq October 5, 2006
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Like Reading Braille

When a chick's tits are so small feeling her chest is like attempting to read braille.
"Man her tits are so small, I may have to learn to read braille before I nail her!"

(Thus feeling her up is like reading braille)
by Brandaminator October 2, 2006
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alternative reality

Where what you think is real, is completely different from what the majority of the population thinks is real. A common syndrome of politicians, (un)reality stars and musicians.
Symptoms:

Thinking that they are great at everything, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Expecting everyone to praise them , often for doing nothing.
Getting angry when people disagree with their version of reality.
Not treatable, even by strong application of actual Facts(as opposed to alternative facts) to the head of the person.
No, a large blunt object does NOT count as Facts.

Not to be confused with some types of mental disorders , which are treatable.
Person 1. trump thinks the media is undercutting his achievements.
person2: only in the alternative reality he lives in.
by SofarroundthebendI'mdoing laps January 28, 2017
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reality

he spent is life pondering the nature of reality. then he had an epiphany.
by jakeumake January 12, 2011
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