UFO Alarm Clock

This knee charmer is often found in unique individuals with ties to super rich secret submarine service. Although known in military jargon as “foreign objects“, emergency surgery usually unearths armament shrapnel and pieces of snooze buttons from top quality alarm clocks. Still as mysterious as jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, this enigma of a titillating experience is easily summarized as suspenseful supreme “pop” sensation and not for the feeble mortal, a UFO Alarm Clock is like kryptonite to Superman. If you ever run into someone who has experienced the rare UFO alarm clock, feel free to gift them only the best sour beers for a speedy recovery!

“Hey John, I heard about that UFO Alarm Clock”, you good bro?”

“Yeah man, nothing a good Sour Brew can’t fix”

by Torsiondrummer July 29, 2020

Nigger Alarm

A phrase originating from an ironically racist 1975 comedy movie called “Darktown Strutters” to be used as a racially insensitive comedic remark when seeing a person who has dark skin.

“Nigger alarm! Tactical Squad, away!”

by SpeedMcWeed April 20, 2024

An alarm clock tissue

It is used in an instance where your boyfriend uses you up as an alarm clock to wake him up in the morning and crushes you into a ball and throws you off the bed to snooze you.

Rishik, I feel like I am an alarm clock tissue in this relationship.

by Ronin47 March 26, 2017

Park City Alarm Clock

Waking up in a luxury ski chalet to a local attempting to penetrate the wrong hole.

Sara’s one night stand woke her up with a park city alarm clock

by Craig Shebesta April 26, 2025

Alarm Cock

A typical alarm clock with a slight surprise. When the alarm cock goes off a slightly limp dildo is smacked into your forehead violently. Usually leaving a slight veiny imprint or possibly a bruise depending on your model of the alarm cock.

Tiffany: "Whats that oddly veiny bruise on your forehead, Bruce?"
Bruce: "Oh that? I got the new Alarm Cock 3000."
Tiffany: "Damn I should upgrade mine, I have last years model."

by Blackfat August 17, 2018

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024

alarm clock charger

a alarm clock that charges your phone.

I don't use a normal charger I use a alarm clock charger.

by joyful coffee June 30, 2023