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John Mayer

IfyouwouldveblinkedthenIwouldveLookedawayatthefirstglanceIfyoutastedpoisonyoucouldveSpitmeoutatthefirstchanceIfIwassomepaintdiditsplattrOnapromisinggrownmanAndifIwasachilddiditmatterIfyougottowashyourhandsohAllIusetodowasprayWouldvecouldveshouldveIfyoudneverlookdmywayIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevilAtnineteenAndtheGodshonesttruthisthatthepainwasheavenAndnowthatImgrownImscaredofghostsMemoriesfeellikeweaponsAndnowthatiknowIwishyoudleftmewonderingIfyounevertouchedmeiwouldveGonealongwiththerighteousifIneverblushedthentheycouldveNeverwhisperedaboutthisAndifyouneversavedmefromboredomicouldveoneonasIwasButLordyoumademefeelimprantAndthenyoutriedtoeraseusohYoureacrisisofmyfaithWouldvecouldveshouldveIfIdonlyplayeditsafeIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevil…GodrestmysoulimisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeIfclaritysindeaththenwhywontthisdieYearsoftearingdownourbannersyouandLivingforthethrillofhittingyouwhereithurtsGivemebackmygirlhooditwasminefirst..IcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeOhGodrestmysoulImisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetime
john mayer: dickhead who can’t date woman his age
by 19stooyoungtobemessedwith June 25, 2023
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john decker

A synonym for Jack Dexter. Usually used on sports fields, such as baseball.
there goes motherfricken JOHN DECKER.
by MikeTheMainMan May 27, 2018
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John McClane

To have you or a member of your team go alone without backup against an opposing team of 4 or more... and then winning.
1: There's no way you can take them all on. Everyone else is dead.
2: Watch me. I'm gonna John McClane 'em.
by dieharddiehardlover May 27, 2024
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John West

Your typical Texas redneck idiot that is in love with guns, drives a big truck, smokes Marlboro Reds, and still flies the Rebel Flag. May also inbreed.
Look at this John West mother fucker right here. Eww gross, he's making out with his cousin.
by Mr. Fart Stink January 23, 2019
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John Teacher

A bulky man who loves green, and talks about his cats nonstop. His main students are Claire and Sarah. Goes on his phone while he gives us 91876 assignments to do in 45 minutes.
"Complete the 91876 assignments in 45 minutes, or it becomes homework!" John Teacher screeched, in his raspy voice
by Milkis Official September 29, 2020
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John

John is a guy who works really hard in what he’s good at like sports and he tried hard in school. He cares a lot for people and if ur important to him in his life he will make time for you. He’s a goofy blonde headed guy who is east to fall for, he may have some secrets of his and feel down sometimes but really all he needs is to open up to someone even if it’s hard sometimes. He has kinda of strict parents and it can get in the way of him having fun sometimes. He gets all the girls because he’s so flirty and leaves girls wondering “I wonder when he’s gonna text back next.” He will shoot his shot but he expects the same energy back. He is super considerate and is interested in what u say and is really ideal boyfriend material. He’s ur typical teenage boy but on the inside it’s something u don’t wanna miss. HE ALSO HAS SOME NICE ABS GEEZ.
Me: “im no simp, but John just changes that.”
by Gabbyhaha January 11, 2021
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john

random normal guy that works at some company you have no idea exists
guy 1: *working*
john: *walks up* my shift is done
guy 1: ok?
by Stupid Af July 12, 2021
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