Hand Hooker

One who gives sexual gratification to another using only their hands in trade of goods, services or monetary gains.

Hillary Clinton asked Donald Trump if he could lend her $15,000
He said $15,000 for 150 strokes for Mr mini
Trump. Deal?

She responded; I'm not a hand hooker, if I was I'd been the one sitting in the white house .

by Trudilicious December 31, 2023

Bear Hands

Used in sentences when mad af.

People will mock you if you use it in a way by making it a joke, (see below).

Or maybe you think about bear hands. Like actuall bear hands. I'm not here to define that though.

Kunt: I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS ASSY!

Assy: Woah buddy, you mean with your bear hands, or with actuall bear hands?

Kunt: FUCK OFF PRICK!

by I'm going to rape myself October 16, 2017

Minnesota Hand Warmer

Creating a warm, fresh turd or piece of fecal matter that is then held in your hand to prevent frostbite.

Shoveling snow had my hands so cold, I had to make a Minnesota Hand Warmer.

by Giggling_santa February 10, 2025

shaking his own hand

A somewhat polite term for masturbation

"I opened up the bathroom door and Billy was in there, you know... shaking his own hand..."

by bigmacs November 30, 2013

The Sleepy Hand

When the man falls asleep and the woman uses his flaccid and feeble hand to pleasure herself. This is done to achieve the climax that he was sadly, unable to provide.

"How did it go with Blake?"
"It was absolute shit - he came so quick and then fell asleep immediately. I had no choice but the sleepy hand.....at least that worked."

by Duckworth's reason to live August 24, 2019

National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day

On May 17, you gather your friends and family to play card and board games for the afternoon.
What, did you expect something sexual today?
Actually, I'm sure there is.

Cyan: It's May 17, and you know what that means!
Sapphire: Ohhh yeahhhh~
Cyan: It's National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day!
Sapphire: Oh. Yeah. We could do that too.

by Blues and Dumbness May 17, 2019

Second Hand Abandonment

When your grandfather abandons your father when he’s a young age leaving him unable to do the things that dads are supposed to teach you and since he never taught your dad he can’t teach you what you’re supposed to know about being a man.

Ryan doesn’t know how to use a hammer because his dad’s dad abandoned his father leaving Ryan suffering from second hand abandonment.

by Owen66 February 23, 2022