herd of turtles

Any group of slow moving idiots in front of you who are taking up the entire pathway, making it impossible for you to pass them. Different than a blockage in that these idiots are actually moving (although WAY too slowly) and they are oblivious to the fact that they’re inconsiderate as hell.

“If this herd of turtles would make a hole I might make actually make my connecting flight.”

by someoneouthere August 24, 2006

scared turtle

When you really need to poop but your turd pulls a scared turtle and barely pokes out.

man I wish I didn't have a scared turtle right now

by anonymous551 May 18, 2015

Drunken turtle

A sexual act wherein a drunk woman is bent over a bed or similar piece of furniture and a green laundry basket or storage bin is placed over her torso and used to hold her down while you anally please her.

WARNING: If this technique is used for oral sex, it can quickly turn into the dangerous "snapping turtle"; use extreme caution if attempting this variant.

My gf was so belligerent last night that I had to give her a drunken turtle.

by Dan I am February 5, 2010

Turtle Man

A nickname Ethan Dolan gave to himself when he saw a picture of him making a face that looked similar to one of a turtle.🐢👨

Stacy:Oh look its Ethan Dolan making that turtle face again. Me:TURTLE MAN!!!

by Mannny345 December 10, 2017

retracted turtle

retracted turtle- a fisting technique in which the whole fist is violently shoved into the anus, meant to look like a turtle in hiding

the opposite of a silent duck

"I heard the fat bulldyke gave Candice the retracted turtle," said Henry.

"The loose cunt probably couldn't feel it anyway," said Tom.

by drunkasswhore24 January 29, 2010

turtle trough

the inside of a woman's solarplexes sometimes known to keep small demons which are released when the women has intercourse with a turtle

I saw her demons come out of her turtle trough when she had sex with that turtle.

by chickenbooter June 7, 2010

sketchy turtle

see awkward turtle. place right palm over left hand, and stick thumbs out to each side (thus making a turtle). now, rub the right hand back and forth continually over the left hand. meaning: to point out your sketchy situation.

(sketchy turtle demonstrated).
someone agrees, "yes, he is quite a sketchy person."

by yay4SARAH August 9, 2006