A suburbanite with delusions of being a wild-west frontiersman.
* Puts on a pair of snakeskin boots and drives a brand new, sparkling ~$50k short-bed Ford to his middle management job at a major corporation.
* Calls himself a "country boy" but has never even done any form of manual labor and probably has girl hands.
* Listens to "country" (country pop bullshit about "beer, trucks and guns" which virtue signals conservative politics, not real country/bluegrass which is melancholic and mostly about being broke, sad, or shooting your cheating wife).
* Owns 20 guns but never actually goes shooting because he has to drive an hour to the nearest range - will never know the joy of shooting random shit from your front porch.
* Spends $30k on a wedding with a hot gold digging wife who will age horribly and harass supermarket cashiers in her free time.
* Emigrated from California to another state but trash talks Californians who emigrate to other states, thinks he's "one of the good ones" because he votes Republican. Believes other Californians are "spreading their politics everywhere" while destroying old town politics with his own strain of anti-union wing nut libertarianism.
* probably believes prosperity theology
* easily grifted by companies like black rifle coffee
* Puts on a pair of snakeskin boots and drives a brand new, sparkling ~$50k short-bed Ford to his middle management job at a major corporation.
* Calls himself a "country boy" but has never even done any form of manual labor and probably has girl hands.
* Listens to "country" (country pop bullshit about "beer, trucks and guns" which virtue signals conservative politics, not real country/bluegrass which is melancholic and mostly about being broke, sad, or shooting your cheating wife).
* Owns 20 guns but never actually goes shooting because he has to drive an hour to the nearest range - will never know the joy of shooting random shit from your front porch.
* Spends $30k on a wedding with a hot gold digging wife who will age horribly and harass supermarket cashiers in her free time.
* Emigrated from California to another state but trash talks Californians who emigrate to other states, thinks he's "one of the good ones" because he votes Republican. Believes other Californians are "spreading their politics everywhere" while destroying old town politics with his own strain of anti-union wing nut libertarianism.
* probably believes prosperity theology
* easily grifted by companies like black rifle coffee
The suburban cowboy, Johnwaynus imitatus, is easily identified by its Reagan/Bush '84 trucker cap. Do not approach under any circumstance or it may attempt unsolicited discussion of gas prices or q anon.
by Chuck Shiesty August 3, 2022
Get the Suburban Cowboy mug.Less than; a fake; a poser. ALSO: a traditional rough neck who's been caught doing things unacceptable on a cattle drive, such as enjoying fresh Mimosas & getting mani/pedis, using hair conditioner, et cetera.
"Did you see Johnny in the field last week?"
"Man, that Coronado Cowboy ain't shit. I saw him having brunch on Sunday!"
"Man, that Coronado Cowboy ain't shit. I saw him having brunch on Sunday!"
by J. William January 4, 2022
Get the Coronado Cowboy mug.A person from California who is conservative and gung - ho. A personality that contradicts the typical Californian
by plus-size albert May 23, 2021
Get the California Cowboy mug.A rad gentleman that gets hot at a rodeo and loves the pool. Oof feisty Cowboys love pools… So why not just stay at the pool?
Has a boyfriend that he walks with every night 10 laps and talks about C$. Has an awesome mom that kicks ass with a great butt. Loves Bowling but is not very good, freaks out under pressure when he bets a beautiful woman and does not follow through on a bet(she makes him nervous because she is so beautiful, voluptuous, athletic and vibrant). He’s also a little scared of being beat up by her and losing at arm wrestling. Great at Handyman stuff and putting up with someone who talks a lot(especially a hot milf that is always right). Sometimes appreciates tic-tok shenanigans when beautiful busty friends forward them, but does not like poop pics. Needs to clean car. Great MF dad!!! Has one great song and it’s super cool but doesn’t really know the words. Draws cool ass stuff and has a slammin tongue ring that can reach to West Virginia.
Has a boyfriend that he walks with every night 10 laps and talks about C$. Has an awesome mom that kicks ass with a great butt. Loves Bowling but is not very good, freaks out under pressure when he bets a beautiful woman and does not follow through on a bet(she makes him nervous because she is so beautiful, voluptuous, athletic and vibrant). He’s also a little scared of being beat up by her and losing at arm wrestling. Great at Handyman stuff and putting up with someone who talks a lot(especially a hot milf that is always right). Sometimes appreciates tic-tok shenanigans when beautiful busty friends forward them, but does not like poop pics. Needs to clean car. Great MF dad!!! Has one great song and it’s super cool but doesn’t really know the words. Draws cool ass stuff and has a slammin tongue ring that can reach to West Virginia.
by C$milf June 12, 2023
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THEY SUCK BALLS!!!!! DO NOT EVER DEFEND, SUPPORT, OR WATCH THEM (UNlESS THEY ARE GOING TO LOSE). also NEVER WEAR AnyTHING COWBOYS-RELATED!!!!
THEY SUCK BALLS!!!!! DO NOT EVER DEFEND, SUPPORT, OR WATCH THEM (UNlESS THEY ARE GOING TO LOSE). also NEVER WEAR AnyTHING COWBOYS-RELATED!!!!
by goallllllllllll January 29, 2009
Get the Dallas Cowboys mug.1.A team that you hate because at some point in your sad life, they came to town and destroyed your team. Thus making your childhood a little more depressing.
2.A team you hate so much that you have a "go to" memory of your team beating the Cowboys. Cowboys fans however forget how many times they have beaten your team, and therefore don't give a shit about the aborition that is your "go to" memory.
3.A team that if you hate, renders you completely incapable of comprehending math percentages.
(example)
Man 1:"The cowboys are a bunch of criminals. T.O, Pacman, Tank Johnson, the whole team is a bunch of thugs and criminals".
Man 2:"T.O is a moron, but not a criminal. Pacman yes, Tank Johnson yes. But, 2 people would not make a team of 53 players a team full of criminals. Are you a crazy person?
2.A team you hate so much that you have a "go to" memory of your team beating the Cowboys. Cowboys fans however forget how many times they have beaten your team, and therefore don't give a shit about the aborition that is your "go to" memory.
3.A team that if you hate, renders you completely incapable of comprehending math percentages.
(example)
Man 1:"The cowboys are a bunch of criminals. T.O, Pacman, Tank Johnson, the whole team is a bunch of thugs and criminals".
Man 2:"T.O is a moron, but not a criminal. Pacman yes, Tank Johnson yes. But, 2 people would not make a team of 53 players a team full of criminals. Are you a crazy person?
I bleed Dallas Cowboys. But this year(08/09) they played like a bunch of butt-fucking quiters. Absolutely unacceptable. We have a completed roster, with depth, and laden with talent. Make it a complete TEAM, and make amends next year.
by Scoobysnacks30 January 27, 2009
Get the Dallas Cowboys mug.by mobes May 16, 2005
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