Ham off

When two individuals go hard as a motherfucker against eachother in a face off of true drunken/drugged skill.

Yo, Dalton, HAM OFF THIS WEEKEND BRO?
TOTALLY man, you won't even be able to handle it.

by stare November 6, 2011

Jam the ham

The act of female masturbation or sex

"Think Sarah's jamming the ham in there" "Gonna jam the ham tonight with Sarah"

by DaddyChungus October 27, 2019

Peeled hams

The act of pulling buttocks cheeks for various acts, such as defecating, anal penetration or voyeurism. Term coined in 2021 by Roger Verdon

He squated down, peeled hams and poo'd on the floor

by ROGIEV March 11, 2022

ham picnic

When you go on a picnic with you half-sibling intending to enjoy a delicious lunch of ham and other picnic staples, but it careens off-course into an incestuous encounter that is still punctuated with a delicious ham.

After visiting their family, the two half-siblings left for the park to enjoy their spontaneous ham picnic.

by Big Papa 19 April 25, 2017

Laser-Ham

Dear god, if you're looking this up it may already be too late for you. They are the dark ones, the decimators, the destroyers of civilization. The only actual sighting of them has reported them to look like abnormally large pieces of ham with glowing red eyes, who can shoot lasers strong enough to cut through anything. It's believed that the Bermuda Triangle is actually a den to these creatures, and the triangle is formed by three stationed hams firing lasers. They are commonly reported at redacted but seem to disappear by the time anybody arrives. One citizen who claims to have seen the Laser-Hams claimed that they were ruled by an "AbraHAM Lincoln", an Abraham Lincoln who much resembles our own, but instead has a piece of ham around his right eye, which is replaced with a glowing crimson one. It is not proven true or false if this entity exists yet.

Doomed person 1: "Dear god, the Laser-Ham, they're coming!"
Doomed person 2: "What's that? Are you insane?"
*Laser sounds and screaming of doom*

by The Drawer Goblin February 28, 2021

Stretched Ham

A gaping anus. Achieved through fisting or sexual penetration with a girthy cock or sex toy. See gaping.

Rachel had some stretched ham when I left last night.

Cathy is really into fisting. She loves the full feeling and a good stretched ham.

by Eaton Holgoode February 4, 2018

Side Hams

When a girl with lower back fat wears tight pants and a tight shirt and the view from behind looks like she's smuggling two hams on her sides above her ass.

"That girl would be really hot if she did'nt have those big ass side hams"

by SITKO April 2, 2008