Coast Guard

Like the Navy National Guard except they fuck up drug traffickers and they help the actual navy in times of war

Jack: hey did you hear that matthew joined the coast guard
Jill: yeah i heard he killed 87 mexican drug traffickers and smoked all their crack

by Darth N1h1lus July 10, 2020

Astral Guard

Similar to the Coast Guard, but in outer space. They deal with helping ships and also regulating embargo, immigration, et cetera.

The Astral Guard helped us! We were out of fuel and floating in the desolate vast space.

by SackbotNinja03 November 6, 2021

JFK the grimmy guard

Noun: A hospital guard who used to pronounce (usually grave) dying patients of either being rushed to ER or confined.
Noun: A one-sided, ruled by fascist superiors, kind of motherfucking individuals.

1. "That JFK the grimmy guard killed my granny!"
2. "Damn! How the hell he's alive, maybe JFK the grimmy guard forgot to look upon him."
3. "Valderrama? That clown, motherfuckin' looking face, is the real JFK the grimmy guard."

by Bozo D. Clown August 31, 2017

Oblivion Guard

Someone that has a 6th sense if you dont crouch while you do something illegal and he will either kill, arrest or let you go if you either give gold, resist arrest or if you let yourself arrested.

Oblivion Guard :
"Stop! You violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen goods are now forfeit."

by phytadesk February 2, 2021

Armed guards

Aren't going to stop school shootings.

Hym "They can just pick another target. A mall. Wait for them to go outside for recess. Find out what time the school lets out and spray the courtyard. But there is a through-line. It's very consistent. Armed guards aren't going to do anything. Gun bans aren't going to do anything. What type of people shoot up schools? Is it almosted entirely groups of people who are demonized for one reason or another? Why not just stop demonizing them? 'Well, because demonization is an effective tool for ideological control and if we don't demonize them people will imitate them or won't be incentivized be more like me.' There it is. It's all just ideological control. That's you trying to reserve the right to control people. And if you're going to do keep trying it you're going to keep getting what you deserve..."

by Hym Iam April 4, 2023

sneeze guard

A piece of glass to protect the buffet food

Waitress: Our kitchen is slammed, it's much quicker to get the buffet.

Patron: No thanks, I don't trust the sneeze guard.

Live from grande prairie Alberta, sept 2017

by Toxicale April 19, 2018

Nose Guard

Individuals defending YouTuber turned coke head Nick Rekieta in the face of his arrest for drug possession and child endangerment.

The Nose Guards are covering for Nick again.

by B.E.C.O. May 30, 2024