National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day

On May 17, you gather your friends and family to play card and board games for the afternoon.
What, did you expect something sexual today?
Actually, I'm sure there is.

Cyan: It's May 17, and you know what that means!
Sapphire: Ohhh yeahhhh~
Cyan: It's National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day!
Sapphire: Oh. Yeah. We could do that too.

by Blues and Dumbness May 17, 2019

Minnesota Hand Warmer

Creating a warm, fresh turd or piece of fecal matter that is then held in your hand to prevent frostbite.

Shoveling snow had my hands so cold, I had to make a Minnesota Hand Warmer.

by Giggling_santa February 10, 2025

well-manicured hand

A sign of a sexually mature man

“Your well-manicured hand felt so good last night. You must be a sexually mature man.”
“A well-manicured hand is a sign of a sexually mature man”
“You mother said my hands were well-manicured.”

by blu3emo0on March 8, 2025

texas hand grip

Where you jerk a guy off and rub his balls at the same time.

Yeah I gave him a Texas Hand Grip

by Overtime Whore November 8, 2017

shaking his own hand

A somewhat polite term for masturbation

"I opened up the bathroom door and Billy was in there, you know... shaking his own hand..."

by bigmacs November 30, 2013

empty-handed

masturbating in secrecy.

When the lights were turned on you were caught empty-handed and smiling.

by Kaetag April 5, 2025

Chonk hand

A fat to fat-ish hand

Bro you got a real chonk hand

by 0mqe October 6, 2020