Lippman Scale

A logarithmic scale used to express the amount of anti-humor produced by a remark or quip uttered by an individual with the intention of producing genuine humor. Similar to the richter scale, the scale ranges from 0 to 9 with each increase of 1 representing a ten-fold increase in anti-humor. A 0 on the lippman scale signifies a state of humor equilibrium in which nothing has been said which can be deemed offensively unhumorous and harmful to the souls and psyches of those within earshot. A 5 typically results in temporary paralysis followed by seizures, suicidal tendencies and diarrhea. Although nothing above a 7 has ever been reported, experts speculate that a 9 on the Lippman scale results in the return of Christ to earth at which point he will utter the words "Fuck this" and the earth will implode into a giant supernova of anti-humor.

The other day I heard someone say: "When you were born the doctor came into mom's hospital room and was like, your son strangled himself with the umbilical cord, he's dead......JK APRIL FOOLS!!!" Due to my queasiness and depression I figure it must have ranked around a 3 on the Lippman Scale.

by Disco-who April 13, 2008

scale of 1-10 like---love

On a scale of 1 to 10, where ten is (LOVE)- How much do they LIKE you, or how much do you LIKE them?

*1) I see you around, you seem like a nice enough person.
*2) My spirit seems content around you, we could be friends, i guess, If the situation calls.
*3) I definitely want to become friends, Your cute, interesting, i want to know more about you.
*4) You are very attractive, enjoying the sight of your body very much, I've thought of sexing you.
*5) I'm beginning to know you, for you, your personality entices me, thinking about intimacy even more.
*6) Your a real great person, we enjoy each other, but that's all, i already have my 8,9 or ten. (see 8,9 and ten) So, you are stuck at 6, I guess.
*7) I care about you strongly, think about you when your not around. i really do appreciate you in my life.
*8) I feel the strongest connection to you, i feel like i understand your mind, body and soul.
*9) i have sleepless nights without you, i think about you half of the day,care for you like a care for myself, wanna share special moments with you, only want you to be happy, I'm sad when you're sad, i think am just minutes away from fallen...

_______________________________________________
*10) Fallen head over heels in L-O-V-E ( you know that feeling you have for that someone, you cant explain it, but you know it. whatever is your love, then that's when its TEN (10)!!!!!!

girl: "wats my like rate on the scale of 1-10 like---love?"

guy: "right now your a definite 7".

girl: ":)"

by justtherightjew May 15, 2010

Scalper

A literal garbage human that has massive amounts on unearned wealth by buying up a retail of its stock of a specific item (whether it be game consoles, PC components or Pokemon cards) and resell them at a ridiculously high price

Scalpers became the bane of everyone's existence when the COVID-19 pandemic hit in 2020, as Scalpers started to use custom made bots to buy the stocks of PS5s, XBOX Series X and Series X before everyone else does, not to mention buy up boxes of McDonald's exclusive Pokemon cards before Mickey D's had the chance to plant them into happy meals

However as of this article's writing, the modern day Scalper gets away with this trashy foolishness as Scalping is only illegal if they scalp tickets to sports events and other live events

Billy: Hi gang, i just got this sweet computer
Friend 1: Where did you get it?
Billy: StockX (THE Website that encouraged the Scalper movement as it is now)
Friend 2: Mate, you got hosed - We got ours at retail price
*Billy goes on road to be hit by a semi truck after realizing his fuck up*

by Sgt. Bilby October 10, 2021

scalise

A unit of strong, intelligent, loyal, passionate, independent but also family orientated group of people with a Italian heritage that dates back to the original founding members of the Costa Nostra. John Scalise was the man that made & commissioned Al Capone and the Chicago mob but was ruthless killed by the same backstabbing people he put into power Al Capone. Before John Scalise's death he was well known as the first person to rub there bullets with garlic and invented the hand shake of death that are often portrayed in Hollywood mob movies. After his death most of family moved out of Chicago to start there own positive family stories and becoming role models and leaders in new cities all over the US. The Scalise's are still well known to be innovators and leaders of their community and have held very important careers such as doctors, writers, artists, athletes, police officers, firemen, teachers, professors, and judges!

If you know a Scalise, you will known them for life... just don't cross them.. or they will cross you.

by Son of John December 21, 2016

3 to 8 scale

with 1-10 being the typical scale for rating anything that comes to mind, the 3 to 8 scale rates in the same way but limits you to the number 3 for a minimum to emphasize the extreme negativity of 1 and 2, and limits you to a maximum of 8, to emphasize the superiority of the numbers 9 and 10.

person 1: "that bitch is fine"
person 2: "3 to 8 scale?"
person 1: "damn i dunno...probably a 9."

by Nuggahdamus December 1, 2011

Asian Grading Scale

Asian=
1) A = Average
2) B = Below Average
3) C = Cant come for dinner
4) D = Don't come home
5) E = Even a dog can do better than u
6) F = Failure to ur parents and ancestors

Asian Kid: ALAMAK
Other kid: What's wrong?
Asian Kid: I GOT A B
Other Kid: In the Asian Grading Scale that's below Average right-
Asian Kid: YES ;-;
Other Kid: Good luck dude

by Ice Better September 23, 2021

binary scale

A scale by which a female is sized up. They are not judged on looks but rather they are assigned a 0 or a 1 depending on the judges willingness to have sexual relations with the female. 1 for go 0 for no

Greg: Eh... I'd say say Sarah is a 5 in my book.

Jeff: Yeah but shes a 1 on the binary scale

by JRo July 30, 2008