jesus f christ

short for saying "jesus fucking christ"

Your dog just took a shit on my rug! jesus fucking christ!

by Brian March 01, 2005

Jesus christ on a bike

an exclamition of complete surprise, can be used instead OMG or some other thing you say when your surprised

Random: Yes i got an A, fuck yeah!

Random 2: Jesus Christ on a bike i got a D+

Random: Stupid gimp

by ph1LL September 19, 2010

Jesus Fucking Christ

When the church or a person are actually fucking themselves over.

Jesus fucking Christ, it's like he's fucking himself in the ass while sucking his own dick!

by kariusvega April 19, 2018

Christ Spear (punch)

Sexual position/action: woman lays like jesus on cross; as she has an orgasm, her man spears her under left ribs with 3 fingers of his right hand and then states in a sadistic tone “see you in 3 days bitch”

I was fucking this christian and made her feel like jesus by giving her a christ spear (punch), I think she may come back in three days.

by ShredHawk November 07, 2018

Jesus Christ on Jupiter

An expression when multiple things go awry at once.

I woke up to a leak under the dishwasher, then the dog barfed all over the new rug and next thing I know it, I have Covid! Jesus Christ on Jupiter!

by Dr. Goldtooth February 28, 2023

jesus h christ

an expression of surprised digust. The H probably stands for "Holy."

"Jesus H. Sufferin' Christ."

by Valda October 14, 2003

jesus h christ

name; Jesus Henry Christ. The illegitimate son of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene and the grandson of god. Today used as an expression of amazement or excitement which has carried over from his lifetime. When Mary would introduce his as Jesus H Christ, people would reapeat it in disbelief.

Mary: Hey luke, have you met my son, and the grandson of god, Jesus H Christ?
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Praise your Grandpa! Are you here to die for our sins like your old man? Hey what does the H stand for?
Jesus H Christ: Henry
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Turn some water to wine! Let's party!
Jesus H Christ: hallelujah! Your prayers have been heard! Bring out the water!
Mary: Jesus H Christ! You'r to young to drink.
Jesus H Christ: My Grandpa damn you!
Luke: Jesus H Christ!, you said it.

and so on

by C.W. Anderson III September 14, 2005