Can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch

Idiom. Used to describe a person's lack of intelligence or inability to perform/achieve a simple task.

Is it any surprise how badly he did? That idiot can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch.

by Catfish Baruni June 16, 2016

Shit candle

When a birthday candle is mounted into one end of a firm turd, lit and then let fully burn.

I went to Jessica’s house last night and we made a shit candle to celebrate her birthday

by Dod Äntligen July 19, 2022

candle

domesticated fire

i'd like to have a nice bonfire.
how about we light some domesticated fires instead?
yeah, candles are good.

by bmoreno928 June 10, 2018

cake and candles

A phrase a man can use to wish another man a happy birthday in a heterosexual manner

Jamar: I'm turning 30
Greg: ...
Greg: Cake and candles my brotha

by The Fire Nation December 26, 2023

Candle Huffing

The annoying act of smelling every candle in a retail outlet that sells candles, including Yankee Candle, BB&B, Cracker Barrel, Bath & Body Works, and others.

Girl: Let's go to the mall.
Guy: I can't.
Girl: Why?
Guy: I went to Yankee Candle last week and got kicked out for Candle Huffing.
Girl: You're a douchebag.
Guy: But Napa Valley Harvest smells so good. And Clean Cotton smells like new towels.

by Hogie1975 July 8, 2011

Frosting on candles

The act of sucking fresh fecal residue off of a girl’s ass hair during intercourse

My girl finally let me suck the frosting on candles laste night

by Absolutelegendunit September 15, 2018

Amish candle

When a man dips his genitals back and forth between ice water and melted butter. Creating a candle like butter and genial candle that can be consumed or used as lubricant.

“Did you and John try to lobster buffet?”
“No, we sprung for the Amish Candle!”

by Burt f March 15, 2023