Bed Bug

The scourge of the Earth as far as insects go. The closest thing to a living hell short of a chronic condition or painful disease. A small itchy insect that will cause you to lose sleep to the point where you will verge on the brink of insanity, but after you live with them for a few years you will slowly real yourself back in. Has a strong negative effect on quality of life as a whole, as your work performance will suffer, visitors will find out and never come back or you stop inviting them in the first place (social isolation) and you give up hope for the future as you've gotten rid of almost all your furniture and had your home fumigated several times, but yet, they're still there. If you are allergic (not everyone is) you will NEVER be presentable in public, as you will have red welts on most of the places on your body, such as the back of your arms, the love handle area, around your knees and lower thighs, etc. While sitting idle in your own home, you will rarely ever go two full minutes without itching ever again unless you're moving and active. Without taking some measures to keep their numbers down, you will eventually find that they are traveling in the clothes you're wearing while in public. You'll be checking out some international calling cards at your local Dollar General and look down and see a rust colored bug crawling across your chest. You'll learn to hate them so bad you smoosh them between your fingers whenever you see one.

If I don't get rid of these bed bugs, I may just torch my house and all my possessions and start anew.

by Sifting Through July 23, 2017

Bed Slap

When you grind on your bed and it hurts when the force of gravity gets strong and pulls you down hard, you get a boner.

Boy: Hey, I just bed slapped my bed and it hurts. I got a boner from it.
Girl: Why did you get the boner?
Boy: Uhhh that’s too much info. Cya!
Girl: Bye!

by Nana my Bananas May 17, 2018

bed sugar

An alternate way to describe having sex in bed. Used by those who also use "sexy time" to describe sex.

Hey honey, you want some bed sugar?

by AmeelMD January 9, 2019

Bed Jelly

When you ejaculate in your bed and forget to clean it up the day later

Sorry for making you clean up my bed jelly

by Reilly gosling March 3, 2019

Bed Jelly

A substance that’s in your bed

I walked in on my mom cleaning up some bed jelly

by Bed Jelly March 3, 2019

Bed Bug

Someone who is addicted to their bed. Typically a person suffering from depression.

Look at mark, he is such a bed bug.

by JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ69 August 30, 2019

Bed bugs text

(n.) a text so risky that the sender sends it as they are falling asleep, so they can avoid the feeling of regret that immediately follows.

The text can be so exceedingly treacherous that it will frighten away bed bugs and other night critters.

Freddy asked Claire out via bed bugs text.

by nolandc September 12, 2019