Conqueror's Wipe

When you have to really put some effort into passing a massive shit, and put one foot up on the bath to wipe your arse, having totally dominated the toilet.

After eating a 40oz steak the night before, it took GP half an hour to pass the results, but the Conqueror's Wipe afterwards was totally, totally justified

by Gronksucker March 27, 2019

wiping fingers

The fingers used to hold toilet paper to wiping your ass after taking a dump. If you also use wet wipes your ass won't be stinking.

Guy 1: Man did you wash your wiping fingers after you took a shit? Guy 2: I only do that if my fingers smell like shit after wiping. Guy 1: That's nasty bro. You need to wash them every time after.

by jimmybomm July 11, 2021

insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.

Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"

by Bill Lowbiter March 2, 2014

Wayward Wipe

The accidental spreading of poop on your butt when wiping and not getting it fully removed.

Husband: I pooped but I think I had a wayward wipe because it still smells back there.
Wife: What is wrong with you?!?!

by Urban humor July 30, 2017

Bar Wipe

The classic spaghetti western-style saloon fight move when one wipes the bar down with another person (preferably face first), effectively cleaning the bar top of all inanimate objects.

Guy #1: "So did you knock that drunk dude out?"
Guy #2: "Nah, he was way too drunk so I just gave him the ol' Bar Wipe."

by Martyr0ne June 8, 2018

Juul wipe

When the person wipes the mouthpiece of your vape before giving it back to you.

Daniel is a lit dude! He always does a juul wipe after he hits my vape!

by Kittykibble January 25, 2019

dick wipe

A brand of dispossible towels designed to be used to wipe your penis after a messy ejaculation when your lover is not allowing to suck excess semen from your face, and no blinds/bedclothes/curtians are at hand to fill this roll. Constructed from 100% cotton for that nice soft delicate penis wiping experience, and comes in a large range of aromatic and pleasing-to-the-nose smells...

''Aww shit, It's everywhere, Man I wish id bought a DICK WIPE

by James Foxhall May 13, 2005