Jesus Duck

The arrival of Jesus Duck is basically how you know a pond or lake is frozen over, when it is not necessarily obvious due to weather conditions, trees in the way, etc...

Its basically a duck walking on the lake when normally you'd see the duck (or swan or goose) half-in paddling away.

Jesus Duck does not bring gifts nor does he rise from the dead. His only message is that the body of water is now potentially traversable with skates.

I wasn't sure if the pond was frozen over or just very still, but Jesus Duck arrived and my insatiable curiosity was slated.

by Headcircus January 19, 2011

Mach Jesus

Driving too fast for your own good.

I saw the police chasing this car down the street at mach jesus.

by Shane Harrison June 25, 2007

Come to Jesus talk

If you're going to perform...PERFORM! Or we'll find someone who will! A conversation usually between an employee and employer.

Looks like we're going to have a come to Jesus talk with Teddy if he wants to keep his job.

by Honey Pooh February 1, 2015

rapin for jesus

The best song

Well I wrote this song for the Christian youth
I wanna teach kids the Christian truth
If you wanna reach those kids on the street
Then you gotta do a rap to a hip-hop beat
I gave my sermon an urban kick
My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick
My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger
That's cause Jesus Christ is my nigga (rapin for Jesus)

by School shooter45 March 6, 2017

Sweet Mother of Jesus

Mary, the mother of Jesus. This is typically an exclamation of disbelief, usually targeted at something so out there that it's hard to believe or process. You could also say "Holy shit!" -- it's quicker.

Sweet mother of Jesus! Did you see that chick just crush those beer cans with her 44HHH tits?!?!

by toxicsky February 8, 2010

Slim Jesus

Fake white boy rapping about drugs and shooting guns which he will never do any of these things.

Slim Jesus is a fake white boy.

by Jammmmmmieboiiii November 7, 2015

Jesus Eat World

A little known Christian band that make sfun of Jimmy Eat World. Someone will probably delete this thinking it's a fake group then shit themselves the next day when they here J.E.W. on XM Radio.

I never thought I would see the day. It's as big of a surprise as the Beastie Boys were.

by Karate Jesus October 26, 2004