rip a new asshole

1. to have words with, to reprimand (a figurative and hollow threat)
2. mofos who intend to do something really bad to someone's hiney or asshole. (literal threat)

I scolded my son and said that I was going to come after his wife and rip a new asshole for disrespecting me and my mother if she didn't send the girls dance pictures like she promised.

by ana unum aka queen latrine December 12, 2008

asshole shuffle

When a stupid person purposely procrastinates and wastes your time because they can't decide what to do.

"Look Dave, quit doing the asshole shuffle and decide what you want from McDonalds."

by CapnSpaulding October 12, 2012

tumblr asshole

A tumblr asshole-a common phrase, is used when describing someone who first, compliments someones blog, and then asks for a promo directly after.

askersurl: omg I LOVEEEEE your blog p4p?!?!
messagereceiversurl: omg, your such a tumblr asshole.

by Jonothaan July 7, 2012

Shredded Asshole

When you eat your own nails and they happen to be quite intact during digestion and then scratch the insides of of your asshole when you unload your ass and it fucking hurts.

Guy 1: Hey I got a Shredded Asshole last night!
Guy 2: Yeah... That's fucking great to know
Guy 1: But instead of hurting, it gave me an orgasm.
Guy 2: Why am I your friend?

by Oskarmandude2 June 29, 2013

dora the explorer asshole

a show that makes toddlers crazy and they say words all over like idiots the monkey boots is a psychopatic asshole. the backpack that talk make kids think backpacks can talk. then when they see a backpack they'll freak out

dora the explorer is a bastard show for toddlers dont let your child see this PEGI ASSHOLE

dora the explorer asshole"bastard idiot mexican backpack and monkey

by the talk of truth in shit January 1, 2012

colder than a well digger's asshole

extremely cold and dark.

"Daaaaammmmn...it's colder than a well digger's asshole out there!!"

by Well Digger September 1, 2011

Mustang Asshole

Mustang Asshole believes that they own the road, and have the fastest car on the planet. Doesn’t matter if their car is a stripped-down version, or has thousands of dollars put into engine performance; Mustang Asshole is simply Mustang Asshole. Mustang Asshole believes any auto racing movie should be nominated for an Oscar. Mustang Asshole often overinflates the amount of horsepower they tell each other they have, because they know that in reality, they will never race their cars and prove it. They LOVE to sit at stoplights and rev the engine, even if they can only race one city block before the next stop sign or stop light. Mustang Asshole usually is wearing sunglasses (no matter day or night) and often sports a backwards baseball hat and a thin, cheesy, shit-stain moustache. Mustang Asshole’s girlfriend is very impressed with Mustang Asshole, however knows no better because it’s the only guy she’s dated since childhood. Mustang Asshole often uses their Mustang as their Facebook or MySpace profile image, in the slim hopes that some desperate female will dig the car, and overlook their pubic hair transplants on their head. See Cigarette Asshole and Lottery Ticket asshole for other possible asshole personality combinations.

I saw a whole heard of Mustang Assholes rubbing against each other stroking their egos. They must substitute horsepower for penis size.

by mad genius December 5, 2010