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shake the monster

To pee, take a leak. Implying that you have a large penis.
I'll be right back fellas, I've gotta go and shake the monster.
by hankthefourth March 8, 2021
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Summoning the monkey

Summoning the monkey: a euphemism for masturbation.

Originally coined by Liam O'Brien of the Critical Role D&D ensemble, and subsequently (maybe) made canon by DM Matt Mercer's explanation that summoning the monkey is the past time of many a wizard in their early years of training.
Sam: Have you seen Liam?
Laura: He's in the bathroom, probably summoning the monkey.
Sam: Thanks, I think I'll join him.
by Artagan000 May 3, 2021
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the monster

he has the monster
by op October 20, 2003
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Speak to the organ grinder not the monkey.

Wanting to talk to the boss not his sidekick.
Organ grinders being the boss, and the monkey being the one who helps him out.

Normally used in a conversation to describe the 'monkey' as someone who's interfering and defending or covering for the the 'organ grinder'.
Shut up! I wish to speak to the organ grinder not the monkey.
by Jadeeeeeeee8 May 30, 2010
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Punch the monkey's head in

To stroke one's penis vigorously, particularly the head; to masturbate; to jack off; to flog one's self; to "take care of business"; to wank
Little Johnny was about to punch the monkey's head in when his mum walked into his room unannounced causing much embarrassment for both parties
by Retrovertigo April 26, 2010
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Case of the Mondays

A phrase used to describe someone that has a bad mood when he or she comes to work or school on Mondays.

OR

A phrase that someone uses if he or she wants to get their ass kicked by their fellow co-workers or school mates.
Jerk #1 - When you come to work on a Monday, has anyone ever told you, "Looks like someone's got the case of the Mondays."?

Jerk #2 - No... No man... Shit, no man... I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that.
by Elmer November 25, 2005
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Banging the Monkey

1. A hopeless situation with no satisfactory solution
2. To fail spectacularly, as in 'screw the pooch'
3. To continue fighting though you cannot win
4. A legendary bout of partying
"Beating your head against the wall, fully aware your
cause was already lost. This was banging the monkey."
by Cooney Bamboo January 21, 2020
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