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spanner monkey

A largely useless individual whose only career prospects are to work in maintainence departments painting walls and replacing light-bulbs. May have questionable habits such as an excess love of porn, language that would make a soldier blush and a equally useless son.
"Why can't one of those spanner monkeys come up here to fix the lights?"
by Mr Ben February 8, 2005
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Spanner Dog

A Spanner Dog refers to those of the human species that are well below the average intelligence. A Spanner Dog will resemble a mouthbreathing, dough banging idiot of a bloke. Common traits include vacant looks, low levels of comprehension, mouth agape, drooling, possible lazy eye.
“God, that Richie is a real Spanner Dog”

“Swing the gate back the other way, you spanner dog”

“You’re being a real spanner dog, just
by Spanner dog January 10, 2020
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spanner eyes

A girl whose eyes are so sexy that when you look into them you can't help but get a raging lob-on.
Boy: Can I call you "spanner eyes"?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cos every time I look into them me nuts tighten
by nimbyfield August 23, 2007
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Spanner Rash

"Spanner rash" is a UK term given to the cuts, bruises, blisters and other wounds you can get from working on the insides of a car, (a spanner is an English word for a wrench).

A mechanic would usually get spanner rash.
Changing the exhaust gave me terrible spanner rash.
by Ultim@te ED February 27, 2008
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Spanner Monkey

When someone has been idiotic, foolish, or incredibLy fucking stupid.
"Hey Jim! Wheres my hat?"
"On your head you spanner monkey!!!"
by Jack Skipp February 16, 2004
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Spanner job

UK: Used to describe the fifty pence piece due to its seven sided design and its resembelence to a nut*.

*As in nut and bolt.
Customer: Barman! can I have change for the cig machine.
Barman: How much do y' need?
Customer: A couple of spanner jobs should sort it, ta!
by Blue Cawdrey November 21, 2004
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spanner fairy

Alistair Macleod is a spanner fairy.

Spanner fairy's wind people up.
by naomileanne March 23, 2017
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