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Hoisted by my own petard

To be foiled by your own advantage(i.e., explosives prematurely explode).

The history of the phrase comes from the uses of a petard in a seige (a petard is a volitile early explosive capable of bringing down castle walls). To be hoisted is to be lifted or sent up, which is generally what would happen to you if you were near a petard when it goes off (and that's if you got off lucky).

The term, "Hoisted on my own petard" is incorrect (unless of course you were pulled up while on a petard, but that'd be clinicly stupid) in that the meaning is altered. This bastardization is built upon the assumtion that a petard is a spear.
Sergeant- "Did you plant all the claymores Corporal Johnson?"
Corporal- "Yes sir."
Sergeant- "Where did you plant them."
Corporal- *Looks around shiftily* "Ummmm..."
Sergeant- "You don't know do you?"
Corporal- "No."
Sergeant- "Hoisted by my own petard."

Synonym- see clusterfuck
by ArKainicW July 9, 2010
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Sick-on-my-own-face

If someone is disgusted, annoyed, frustrated by something then they will use this term so show their emotions. Always used in a negative manner
e.g.
Chris- "You wanna go out with Josh tonight?"
Johnny - " I'd rather be sick-on-my-own-face than go out with that guy"
Chris- "Fair play"

Johnny- " You want a cuppa?"
Chris- "I'd rather be-sick-on-my-own-face than drink that crap"
by Chris Gibbens October 2, 2007
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sucking my own dick

When one promotes themselves repeatedly in conversation and argument. Almost synonymous with bragging, but sucking your own dick is a more humble way to admit it.
J: We should do the bowl skit for the show.
S: No, that's not a good idea. I know I'm sucking my own dick here but my ideas have been consistently better and I think we should do my idea instead of yours.
by chubop October 3, 2016
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Grinding my own Business

When grinding, only paying attention to the chick in front of you and not lookin around at other couples (or sandwiches) grinding around you.
Al (grinding Kari, talking to Lyle, who is grinding Lena)- Pretty great party, right?
Lyle- I can't hear you. I'm Grinding my own Business right now.
by Dusty Cox December 2, 2009
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Fucked My Own Ass

1) A phrase one usually says when he is so pissed off about something. After he dies and loses all his enchanted diamond armor and shit to the enderdragon, one might say, "OH SHIT! I FUCKED MYSELF IN THE ASS!"

2) The action of taking either a 6.9 inch vibrator and shoving it up your ass until you moan so loudly, "I FUCKED MYSELF IN THE ASS"

3) A male masturbation technique where you wrap your schlong all the way around your body and into your own asshole. One usually fucks their own ass when they are still a horny 12 year old and are still a virgin with no friends.
While Eric was watching Shrek hentai, he decided to shove his small ass peen into his own big ass asshole. He moaned so loudly that the frogs turned gay and started buttfucking each other. "UUUUUHHHHIIIIOOO! I FUCKED MY OWN ASS! UUUUUHHHHIIIIOOO!"
by Long w e e n boi November 13, 2019
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i licked my own ass crack

i did and no one will stop me
person 1: hey bro how are you doing
person 2: i licked my own ass crack
person 1: how bro i wanna try
by the golden woodchuck March 20, 2023
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sucking my own dick

When one repeatedly promotes themselves in conversation and argument. Almost synonymous with bragging, but it serves as a more humble way of saying it.
J: We should use my idea.
S: No, your idea is not good, and I know I'm sucking my own dick but my ideas have been consistently better than yours for the past 10 years. We should do mine instead.
by chubop October 3, 2016
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