Skip to main content

Montreal 

The city Toronto wishes it was. A place where strangely good looking people, hockey, beer and just having fun are the order of the day. Only city where smoking a joint on the street isn't frowned upon, it's encouraged. Referred to as the canadian Europe. Home to bands such as the Arcade Fire, Malajube, Mobile, Sam Roberts band, The Stills, and many more.Truly, the greatest city in the world, Montreal exudes awesomeness.

OH. AND MONTREAL BAGELS ARE THE BEST. no word of a lie, they bring all other bagels to shame.
Torontonian living in Montreal: Dude. My mom sent me a care package! Look, there's bagels, a hockey jersey and wow! A justin Bieber cd! Toronto is way better than montreal.

Montrealer: 1) That isn't a bagel, it's an unsweetened doughnut with sesame seeds on top. 2) Hockey is a relative term. The toronto maple laughs play ice-dance. 3)JUSTIN BIEBER? Dude, i just lost all respect for you.
Montreal by Montrealer1994 June 21, 2011

montreal canadiens

The Montreal Canadiens have by far the most interesting and most glorious history of any NHL team. While they have failed to live up to their legacy recently(mostly thanks to poor forwards who don't score enough and less than solid goaltending from propecia guy), you just can't argue against a team that has won 24 Stanley Cups and that has a rich history of great players like Maurice Richard, Guy Lafleur ,etc .... etc.... The Canadiens also happen to have the best fans in the league. The Leafs may have more fans but the Habs have the better fans. Bell Centre's always full. Most of the fans don't act like total morons and most importantly, they're respectful of other teams (except Leafs but they suck)
The Montreal Canadiens swept their most recent two-game series against the Leafs and also outscored them 11-3 when combining both games. Some Leafs fans were seen crying when they left the Bell Centre wondering how the almighty Leafs could lose agains t a team that has good coaching and a real goaltender like Huet. Leafs fans really need to convert. Also to them I say, the Habs may not have won the cup since 1993 but that's still way better than 1967.
montreal canadiens by Dr.Cain April 28, 2006

Montrealian

On the Youtube series "The Most Popular Girls in School" this is what Brittany Matthews calls Susan Marguerite because she thinks Susan Marguerite is a fake bitch and is convinced that she is lying about being from France and is really from Montreal.
Susan Marguerite: My people know very much about suffering.
Brittany Matthews: Oh? And what people are those? Montrealians?
Montrealian by Extreme Youtuber March 11, 2013

Montreal Expos

Oops, they dont exist.
Montreal Expos by hhhhh October 3, 2004

Montreal 

Correction: A French Canadian City with the best drivers in the world... You bitches just can't handle our mad skillz.
You can always tell who lives in Montreal and who doesn't... The visitors stop at red lights.

Montreal Steam Pocket 

Now, this sexual move is very hard to accomplish. Trust me, I've only gotten in correctly twice and I've had much practice...if you're sexually inexperienced you may as well stop reading now because this explicit information will not suit you in this lifetime...ok, the Montreal Steam Pocket must start when you've got a full load...meaning you have to shit, have to piss, and haven't made romance explosion in at least two weeks. Also you need a very willing female that loves cock and shit and piss and cum. Now, if you can get all that in one place pat yourself on the back, you're doing good so far...Step 1.(show her who's boss) the first step in this difficult process is to show that bitch who's boss...the very first thing you have to do is place your phallus into the female rear entry using margarine as lubricant, this will cause for a slightly diry, yet very scrumptious event. whilst inside, you must unload your bladder into her shit-sack. some will come pouring back, but before it does, you have to quickly assume the position under her squatting body as to collect the dripping urine back into your own mouth...then swallow. this won't be pleasant for the female, she'll know who's boss. step 2.(make love not war) contrary to popular thought, romance explosion doesn't always need to happen at the end of sexual endeavor. what you do in step two is to unleash contents of your teste-sack into a glass of milk 3/4 full. Don't let her see you doing this, she won't like it...then act as if your sexual sexy time is already done by offering the glass of warm milk. depending on the flavor of your semen, she might not even notice!!! try to get this step on tape... step 3. (takin the browns to the superbowl) well really its not the superbowl, but close enough. for step 3. see Alabama Hot Pocket. However, don't use all of your shit. you need some for step 4... step 4.(spread that doodoo butter) in step four, you spread that doodoo butter...take a nice girthy shit all over them tits and smear it all around! she may like this. try spreading some also in and around her armpits...step 5.(there's yeast in my potatoes!) make some mashed potatoes and insert it into thine vaginal crevice via wooden spoon (a ladle may be necessary). post-injection, you want to ram lots of cock up into that pussy making it extremely uncomfortable for the female...she really won't like trying to fish out all those potatoes and shit afterward. step 6. (land the aircraft) step six is quite nasty. you need to cover your junk in the shit you spread on her tits. get it on there thoroughly...then depending on the 'freakiness' of your gal-pal. you may want a blindfold so she's not expecting the first mouthful of shit-covered cock...its a sick job but it needs to be done...spoon feed her the shit with your cock until its alllll gone. Have fun attempting the Montreal Steam Pocket...by the way, it got its name when Bill Murray, during a Montreal Expos game, met up with some chick in the Canadian bathroom and created this (1988).
"Dude, I gave Gertrude a mean Montreal Steam Pocket last night!"

"Oh yeah? she like it?"

"No...She died from it"

:(