Jared

A sweet, caring guy who loves to joke around with his friend; has amazing clear blue eyes and would do anything to make his babygirl smile; Sometimes his negative qualities show through, like stubborness, anger, and "toughness", but his positive qualities can make any girl melt

cute girl: I really wish Jared was my boyfriend
hot girl: Me too!
beautiful girl: too bad Jared's mine and I'm his babygirl.

by JustForYou May 5, 2013

Jared

The act of somebody saying something that he or she thinks will be funny but nobody laughs

That was a jared

by Jared Butkovich November 8, 2017

jared

a dick

jared: i like this girl

girl: i like you too
jared: can we be friends

by kennnnny February 15, 2019

Jared

Once a lost and troubled soul trapped in the fourth underworld, Jared became a God to the Aztecs when mysterious life forms descended to Mictlan seeking an ancient rumored power. The citizens of Planet Z spent years traveling through different dimensions only to discover what they sought was not to be found - but created. Jared was chosen by the leader of Z. A few indulgent meanderings and shots of whiskey later, the celestial alignment cast an electric surge between Cancer and Scorpio. The surge was so poignant, tightly bound and focused that Jared became the first being to have successful intercourse with an extraterrestrial, bridging the gap between Gods and Aliens by taking on the role of Daddy: God of The Impossibly Mindblowing Orgasm. The Z leader surrendered to Jared as an object of pleasure for all eternity as an expression of gratitude for helping to create the ultimate sexual energy. Although Jared is immortal, his human form is a specimen of perfection, sexuality and divine masculinity. His generously proportioned reproductive organ was hand sculpted by Zeus with perfection in the style of a male Venus de Milo. Jared excels in all things delicious, and even his humanly procreative fluids are indicated by legend to have an intoxicating flavor as well as healing powers and a magical, iridescent glow.

I could spend forever drinking from a fountain filled by the excited expulsions of Jared.

Jared likes to get real fucked up.

by Ballfro Esquire May 8, 2020

Jared

A good person with a good sense of humor

Jared is like sooooooooooo funney

by Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi May 27, 2018

Jared

a person who is slightly random and on occasion cray but all around flippin awesome. Someone you know will be there when it counts.

Oh my word, you are SOO Jared

by Lfcangel9 February 18, 2010

jared

really tall guy who is an athlete mixed with a nerd, movie buff, also refered to as the elusiv whit man

they went to jared

by 7layersofsin May 31, 2010