Investment Banker

Total baller. Probably graduated ivy league, makes six figures straight out of college and balls hard in NYC.

Often us bankers dislike poor people and other unprestigious things like equities in dallas

Yo dude, we can't go in that bar it's full of investment bankers and we only make $140k a year, dude we will get put to shame.

by The_Rainmaker January 10, 2010

milf investment

this is a significant other that ages like fine wine and will eventually turn into a milf once they hit milf age meaning that by being in a relationship with them now, you are investing in a future milf
*in regards to the usage of milf in this context, gender does not matter, it's a matter of the milf vibes*

bro my girlfriend is such a milf investment
my partner is so hot, they are a literal milf investment
I need to cuff that dude, he's such a milf investment

by a bitch named lizard May 19, 2021

Dick Investment

an act in which (usually) an older girl in high school will take a younger boy with a already large penis in the hopes it will get longer

shelly's only going after eric for his horse dick

hey he is a good dick investment

by whitish October 24, 2008

Investment Property

A person who has an investment property is someone who is in a relationship with someone who is undergoing a huge make over/glow up. The investor enters a relationship with someone that is below a 10/10 in the hopes of their partner eventually transforming into a 10. Hence why they are investing into the relationship market while the demand for their target is low

Bob: Bro your girl is a 3/10, what are you smoking son?
Cooper: Don't worry, she's an Investment Property
Bob: Ah, that explains it

by TheOldFossil July 20, 2023

Recruit Investment

The compound term "Recruit Investment" combines the concepts of recruitment and investment. It denotes the process of enlisting individuals to participate in a venture or business, often with a financial commitment. This term is frequently associated with models like multi-level marketing ( MLM ), where individuals are recruited to invest in the business and may receive compensation based on the performance of their recruits within the network.

In the world of multi-level marketing, success depends on effective Recruit Investment—getting people to join and invest

by Chief Lexicographer November 1, 2023

Invest in yourself

Spending your time and money for your own improvement, future success or good time / enjoyment. As opposed to spending your money and / or time trying to please people especially people you don't like.

" I can't believe it! I just blew her rent money hosting a big dinner party for my frenemies."

"Yeah it sounds like you don't know how to invest in yourself. "

by Quelquechosedespecial December 24, 2016

Investing Aggressively

1. Committing as little as possible to a situation
2. Making a covert exit from a place or situation

Originated in the Silicon Valley tech scene when companies are bluffing prior to a market exit in order to increase asset value or simply to stop staff brain drain prior to an asset sale. It is an ironic phrase, intended to mean the exact opposite.

See also Doublespeak, sarcasm, cynicism. Not to be confused with the common misuse of irony

1. “We expect to lose money in Southeast Asia and expect to invest aggressively in terms of marketing, subsidies etc,”

D. Khosrowshahi - Feb 2018. Uber sells March 2018

2. "You turning up to the boss' party on Saturday?"
"I plan on 'investing aggressively' in the optional company social this weekend..."

by IronicIsntIronyAlanis June 6, 2018