guaransheed

Certain, inevitable, destined to occur. Primarily used to denote that said action will be done with maximal gangsta steeze. Popularized by noted baller Rasheed Wallace.

"Yo, we gon' win on sunday. It's guaransheed."

by The Feight Train June 13, 2008

Grieser Guarantee

The Grieser Guarantee is a phrase used when you are one hundred percent positive that you are correct. First used by Eric Grieser, this guarantee can't be false.

"I Grieser guarantee that North Carolina is going to win the 2005 NCAA Championship Tournament."

by Eric Grieser April 12, 2005

Winger guarantee

A Jeff Winger alternative to a very important promise.

Invented in the tv show Community by Jeff Winger.

Jeff Winger: Il get you 5 more customers by the end of this, and that’s a Winger Guarantee

by FitnessGram™ Pacer Test December 22, 2021

Oklahoma Guarantee

A guarantee that isn't really a guarantee. Usually consists of "I'll be damned if it doesn't work," "if it breaks, you can call me a son of a bitch," and "if it breaks in two, you can keep both the pieces!"

Comes from the days when unscrupulous Oklahoma used car dealerships would give unscrupulous warranties that were worth the paper they were printed on. These were the days before lemon laws.

The term has been popular in Texas and Oklahoma, but has some limited nationwide use.

Products made in China come with the Oklahoma Guarantee.

by therealelizacat December 14, 2013

guaranteej

A girl who is guaranteed to blow you with little to no work.

I thought she was a guaranteej, but I ended up having to pay for it.

by teej_mester January 21, 2011

Donkey Dick Guarantee

A guarantee so outrageous that it makes you think of a Donkey Dick.

That's a "Donkey Dick Guarantee" from you to me!

by FistFire July 12, 2007

Garunteed

a purposeful misspelling of "guaranteed," intended to confuse the reader. (especially in discord)

This Tatsu cookie has no nuts. Garunteed.

by NotXoplazma3 June 14, 2020