Also called a "nice guy"
It is some malnourished (either super skinny or super fat) guy who thinks he's so cool and smart when in fact he just sounds like a smartass without being so smart because, you know, he just picks up random, deep words from a Latin dictionary or a game or somewhere else. He usually calls other people names like he's some god or something (also, often he does not believe in God and will always try to bash that "truth" in believers' face). He also tends not to ever think he is wrong.
His usual outfit is any dark clothes that allow him to absorb sunlight like a black hole, so you can expect the worst smells (of unhygienic neck beards and the like) to surround his presence. He also dons and tips the infamous "fedora" (actually a trilby), thinking he looks cool in such a manner.
Usually he is a basement dweller, like, he's some sort of a bottom feeder who feeds on Doritos while humping the hole on the bottom end of a dakimakura pillow (i.e. his waifuu). There are times he wants to impress real girls but always fails because of his plain ugliness inside out. He starts off as a "nice guy" (ergo, earning the alternative name for him) who tries to make the girl "beautiful". Then he proceeds to call her, whom has called them out for being such a creep, a big slut who only wants to date the douchebag (i.e. more attractive and probably more tolerable male).
It is some malnourished (either super skinny or super fat) guy who thinks he's so cool and smart when in fact he just sounds like a smartass without being so smart because, you know, he just picks up random, deep words from a Latin dictionary or a game or somewhere else. He usually calls other people names like he's some god or something (also, often he does not believe in God and will always try to bash that "truth" in believers' face). He also tends not to ever think he is wrong.
His usual outfit is any dark clothes that allow him to absorb sunlight like a black hole, so you can expect the worst smells (of unhygienic neck beards and the like) to surround his presence. He also dons and tips the infamous "fedora" (actually a trilby), thinking he looks cool in such a manner.
Usually he is a basement dweller, like, he's some sort of a bottom feeder who feeds on Doritos while humping the hole on the bottom end of a dakimakura pillow (i.e. his waifuu). There are times he wants to impress real girls but always fails because of his plain ugliness inside out. He starts off as a "nice guy" (ergo, earning the alternative name for him) who tries to make the girl "beautiful". Then he proceeds to call her, whom has called them out for being such a creep, a big slut who only wants to date the douchebag (i.e. more attractive and probably more tolerable male).
in an SMS thread
Guy: Hey, beautiful. *bows and kisses your hand*
Girl: Uhm. Hi?
Guy: Hehe. I noticed your beauty that stood among the others at WalMart last night. I cannot help but listen to your little talk with the caramel-colored female so I can get your number.
Girl: Stop that. I have a boyfriend.
Guy: You sure you don't want to be treated like a woman? He will leave you, I won't. Also, nice pair of bosoms you have. Mind if I see them?
Girl: Nice try, fedora guy, but no
Guy: Hehe. *kisses your cheek*
Girl:
Girl:
Girl:
Guy: Hello?
Guy: Still there?
Guy: Lol I was trying to be nice and gentlemanly to you but you choose to fuck the dickhead in your bedroom. Lol. Bye
Guy: Hey, beautiful. *bows and kisses your hand*
Girl: Uhm. Hi?
Guy: Hehe. I noticed your beauty that stood among the others at WalMart last night. I cannot help but listen to your little talk with the caramel-colored female so I can get your number.
Girl: Stop that. I have a boyfriend.
Guy: You sure you don't want to be treated like a woman? He will leave you, I won't. Also, nice pair of bosoms you have. Mind if I see them?
Girl: Nice try, fedora guy, but no
Guy: Hehe. *kisses your cheek*
Girl:
Girl:
Girl:
Guy: Hello?
Guy: Still there?
Guy: Lol I was trying to be nice and gentlemanly to you but you choose to fuck the dickhead in your bedroom. Lol. Bye
by somejudgmentalbish June 29, 2017
Get the Fedora Guy mug.Fedor Vladimirovich Emelianenko is a Russian Mixed Martial Artist who currently competes in the heavyweight division of Affliction Entertainment/M1 Global's MMA promotion, Affliction. He holds notable wins over Mirko Cro Cop, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Mark Coleman, Kevin Randleman, Ricardo Arona, Andrei Arlovski, Tim Slyvia, Mark Hunt and is known for his "NON HUMAN" style of fighting. Emelianenko's only loss on his 30 - 1 record came via doctor stoppage due to a cut right by his eye in which the doctor felt he could not continue. Since it was a tournaments finals a winner needed to be declared. Fedor then avenged his loss 5 years later by defeating Tsuyoshi Kohsaka via TKO. Although Emelianenko posseses a dangerous grappling background in Sambo/Judo he also carries that "one hit knockout power" in his right hand. To sum it up Fedor is not human, he is a machine, he is an experiment by members of the Soviet Union and eventually escaped to mark his name in history. No one will ever defeat this man, unless Jesus Christ himself decides to join in on the heavyweight division of an MMA promotion. He will crush any heavyweight in any organization, yes including the UFC. Dana White knows this better than I do.
Roadie: Yo niggah, Brock Lesnar handed Frank Mir the beating of his life!
Frost: Ofcourse he did, Mir is no Fedor, wait till' they match him up against a true Martial Artist like Fedor and then we'll see how that cocky WWE wrestler is after his dreams get shattered at the hands of The Last Emperor.
Roadie: Relax man, why do u take it to the heart?
(Fedor Emelianenko then walks in the room and pulls Roadies soul out his fuckin' spine).
Frost: Ofcourse he did, Mir is no Fedor, wait till' they match him up against a true Martial Artist like Fedor and then we'll see how that cocky WWE wrestler is after his dreams get shattered at the hands of The Last Emperor.
Roadie: Relax man, why do u take it to the heart?
(Fedor Emelianenko then walks in the room and pulls Roadies soul out his fuckin' spine).
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