reality consultant

Someone who consults those who has strayed from reality and has lead themselves to believe that their fantasy have truly become their reality . These life gurus then in turn guide the vagrants of reality back to their sad existance of life with a slap dose of realism.

Cory needs to get a hold of a reality consultant as soon as possible. Have you seen his girlfriend?!

by buti4life December 30, 2011

consultanted

When you want to explain something ridiculous looking professional whilst doing it.

Rod just consultanted you!

by Rodisrightbarbie April 19, 2018

Management Consultant

Glorified business hooker, typically hired by a consulting whorehouse, which pimps out its consultants to clients, who then proceed to fuck the consultants over until they're pleased (or until the consultants are dead), pay the whorehouse big bucks, leaving the consultant with little commission and lasting trauma.

Hopeful college grad: What are some key qualities I need to have be a management consultant?
Experienced management consultant: Be able to handle long fuckings and be okay with a shortened lifespan

A: You're a management consultant? What are some of the most exotic places you've traveled to and the coolest resorts you've stayed at for work?
B: I once stayed at a Best Western to get fucked by my client in bumblefuck Western Virginia everyday for a year.

by TPain Not Impressed June 22, 2014

Academic Consultant

A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.

Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?

Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant

From the movie 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High'. A skeevy loser that hooks up with underage girls because of his job at the mall and ability to drive them to 'the point' in his '78 T-Bird.

"I've known him since high school, and he's still banging 16 year-olds that come into the Radio Shack. He's totally Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant!"

by ~x~barbird~ v January 6, 2009

Consultant Coffee

Any drink that is made or paid for by someone higher up than you. This applies particularly to medical doctors to medical students.

Student 1: "I got consultant coffee today"

Student 2: "jealoussssss"

by sratk2 July 5, 2011

Organic Consulting

this is a new phenomenon in the professional services or consulting industry where consultants are straightforward and truthful with their clients. They are "keeping it real" and cutting out the bullshit. They don't use buzzwords and try to be honest as possible. Like organic food, organic consulting is consulting without fluff.

Your client wants to close their widget factory in China and open it in California. If you practice Organic Consulting you would say "are you nuts, you'll lose money. Don't be an idiot." Whereas, the typical consultant would say "that's an interesting idea, let's investigate further and prepare a business case. We charge $300 per hour for that service."

by VI Island Boy August 24, 2009