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U.S.S. Juan Valdez

The infamous cargo-carrier that ran aground (due to Captain Joseph Hazlenut's having downed one too many cups of joe) in Alaska and spilled thousands of pounds of Colombian coffee into the bay, giving the surrounding wildlife a major case of the caffeine-jitters and thus causing them to behave really weird for weeks afterwards. The fiasco caused a major "media-buzz", as well.
After the U.S.S. Juan Valdez accident, coffee-transporting cargo-vessels were required to pack their coffee in separate thick-walled metal shipping-containers rather than just bulk-filling their holds with the dry product, to reduce the chance of the coffee's just spilling right out into the ocean if the ship's hull is breached.
by QuacksO August 5, 2018
mugGet the U.S.S. Juan Valdezmug.

Paulo Valdez

A wrestler from Hesperia High school that is 15 years old and has no limits
Paulo Valdez is the best Freshman in Hesperia History
by allstarwrestlinginsider March 15, 2022
mugGet the Paulo Valdezmug.

Luis valdez

Someone that is humble. A family person. Doesn’t give up on anything or anyone. Is very good in bed. Loving and caring, but if you mess with him enough, he’ll make your life a living hell.
Luis Valdez is such a teddy bear.

Man I wish I could be more like Luis Valdez .
We all love Luis Valdez, he’s such a loving person, we enjoy his company.

Can’t wait to sleep with Luis Valdez again.
by Little Biggs November 25, 2021
mugGet the Luis valdezmug.

paris valdez

A trap! look out! This male/female (I can't tell the difference) is actually one of the best people in the world and should totally win a Grammy Award for his superiority to all of his friends.
by PariParu PV April 20, 2022
mugGet the paris valdezmug.

Kya Valdez

Kya is the most beautiful women in the whole entire world. She is the sweetest, kindest, and most thoughtful person. She is the type of person you can rely on if you ever have any mental problem. she is a great role model for younger and older generation. she is very mature, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t fun. she is actually a really funny girl with a great sense of humor. she can light up any sad person’s day or just any person’s day in general. She is the girl i think many people can look to in a dark time to at least help make it brighter. She is also the greatest wife in the whole existence of the world.
Kya Valdez is really beautiful and deserves the whole universe
by Jmie0310 June 10, 2023
mugGet the Kya Valdezmug.

Valdez sandwich

When you get fisted in the ass until you hole is stretched out, then you stick a grilled cheese in the prostate and you continue to anal fuck your partner till the grilled cheese is mixed with you nut and your partners shit, then you serve it to your family
Dude I just made a Valdez sandwich for you
by AIDS0909 July 3, 2025
mugGet the Valdez sandwichmug.

Juan Valdez Jacuzzi

using coffee in lieu of water in a cannabis bong
"don't talk to me till I've had coffee"?

psh
whatever

don't talk to ME till I've spent 20 min blazing through a Juan Valdez jacuzzi
by CoraMunroBoat June 12, 2017
mugGet the Juan Valdez Jacuzzimug.

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