The Average Male Townie:
> Wears fake burberry cap
> Wears fake burberry cap at a 360 degree angle
> Smokes about 50 fags a day
> Drinks anything as long as it has alcohol in it
> Wears "trackies" and bright white nike trainers
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Tucks "trackie bottoms" into their white umbro / fake burberry socks
> Refers to fellow female townies as "mah bitches" or "mah hoes"
> Has brown hair with the ends dyed - meant to be blonde but ends up orange
> Wears "Schott" jacket - 100% polyester and very poofy with the label "Schott" splashed along the back of it. Some townies unable to afford such expensive clothing tend to wear "Scott" jackets
> Have their ear pierced with a huge fake diamond earring
> Wears excessive amounts of Lynx aftershave and seems to believe that all normal humans want to smell like that too - tend to spray aftershave in anyone-who-is-not-a-townies face
> Refer to fellow male townies as "bruv"
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Enjoys listening to hip hop, R 'n' B, and any female who does not wear much clothing at all
> Shoplift from their local market
> Is never seen without their mobile phones - always in the latest model
> Hangs around in large gangs
> Hangs around by places like One Stop and the 'green'
The Average Female Townie:
> Has excessive facial piercings
> Has dyed platinum blond hair with about two inches of natural coloured roots showing
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Wears tiny little tops which show as much breast as physically possible
> Wears tiny little skirts which are shorter than a normal persons belt
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Wears clothes by the label "Playboy"
> Always makes sure that their thongs are on show
> Have their hair scraped back into a high ponytail or bun
> Also wear bright white Nike trainers
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Wears layers and layers of foundation
> Wears layers and layers of fake tan over that
> Are pregnant by the age of 10
> Also wear "Schott" jackets
> Hangs around in large groups
> Hangs around in places like One Stop or the 'green'
> Listens to hip hop, R 'n' B and any male who wears excessive amounts of chains and who possesses a six pack.
> Shoplift from their local market
There are many of this species about - they are spreading like a disease. You must be cautious at all times as you may find yourself gradually adapting to their kind. If you see anyone of this kind approaching, turn around and walk away. DO NOT APPROACH THESE SPECIES.
> Wears fake burberry cap
> Wears fake burberry cap at a 360 degree angle
> Smokes about 50 fags a day
> Drinks anything as long as it has alcohol in it
> Wears "trackies" and bright white nike trainers
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Tucks "trackie bottoms" into their white umbro / fake burberry socks
> Refers to fellow female townies as "mah bitches" or "mah hoes"
> Has brown hair with the ends dyed - meant to be blonde but ends up orange
> Wears "Schott" jacket - 100% polyester and very poofy with the label "Schott" splashed along the back of it. Some townies unable to afford such expensive clothing tend to wear "Scott" jackets
> Have their ear pierced with a huge fake diamond earring
> Wears excessive amounts of Lynx aftershave and seems to believe that all normal humans want to smell like that too - tend to spray aftershave in anyone-who-is-not-a-townies face
> Refer to fellow male townies as "bruv"
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Enjoys listening to hip hop, R 'n' B, and any female who does not wear much clothing at all
> Shoplift from their local market
> Is never seen without their mobile phones - always in the latest model
> Hangs around in large gangs
> Hangs around by places like One Stop and the 'green'
The Average Female Townie:
> Has excessive facial piercings
> Has dyed platinum blond hair with about two inches of natural coloured roots showing
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Wears tiny little tops which show as much breast as physically possible
> Wears tiny little skirts which are shorter than a normal persons belt
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Wears clothes by the label "Playboy"
> Always makes sure that their thongs are on show
> Have their hair scraped back into a high ponytail or bun
> Also wear bright white Nike trainers
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Wears layers and layers of foundation
> Wears layers and layers of fake tan over that
> Are pregnant by the age of 10
> Also wear "Schott" jackets
> Hangs around in large groups
> Hangs around in places like One Stop or the 'green'
> Listens to hip hop, R 'n' B and any male who wears excessive amounts of chains and who possesses a six pack.
> Shoplift from their local market
There are many of this species about - they are spreading like a disease. You must be cautious at all times as you may find yourself gradually adapting to their kind. If you see anyone of this kind approaching, turn around and walk away. DO NOT APPROACH THESE SPECIES.
Here are a few expressions that this dangerous kind might use:
"Sick bruv" - cool or great
"Yer ma'e" - Yes
"I'll give ya beats" - I want to hurt you
"Bling" - jewellery
"Ma homies" - my friends
"Your mum" - Definition UNKNOWN. Many people have tried to define this fascinating expression into English and I have reached the conclusion that in fact, it is just a phrase in which townies resort to using because they cannot think of anything else to say.
"Sick bruv" - cool or great
"Yer ma'e" - Yes
"I'll give ya beats" - I want to hurt you
"Bling" - jewellery
"Ma homies" - my friends
"Your mum" - Definition UNKNOWN. Many people have tried to define this fascinating expression into English and I have reached the conclusion that in fact, it is just a phrase in which townies resort to using because they cannot think of anything else to say.
by Trixabelle May 03, 2005
Description: The self-conscious ego seeking moron.
Target: Everybody who doesn't look like them (E.g. Goths, Grungers ect..)
Usually based around the coasts and inner city areas. The common townie prefer to wear rolled up addidas trousers with a distinctive double white strips running up the outside of both legs, along with matching nike trainers with ugly mooboot style grips on the underside however the most common townie will have no colour co-ordination what-so ever and mistakenly think purple and green look as they say "Cool mate".
Wear hoodies which are beige, blue or occassionally black and baby blue or pink for the females. Avoiding labels at all costs however, replace them with words such as "Cuba, 1976, Baby, Princess, ect.." all of which have no actual meaning to them.
Topped off with "massive" amounts of jewerlly which they call by the name "Bling Bling".
* For the male of the townie species "Bling Bling" will be one gold stud and perhaps a chain around their necks which originate originally from the female jewerlly section in the argos catalogue.
* For the female townie species they prefer to wear ridiculously "massive" gold looped earings bought from claire's accessories for 50p in the sale which they claim to be worth £20, hands covered in 10p rings, and several gold crosses and chains which originated from their arch enemy: The "Goth" or "goff" as they prenounce.
The majority of townie morons have pizza faces and as a insecurity accuse others to be "f***in' mingers" (minger meaning: ugly bastard/bitch). However the female townie attempts to cover their blemishes with tonnes of cheap make-up, blue mascara, with a lining of thickly spread silver eye shadow across the eyelids. The consiquence of this creates an orange glow which can be noticed from several meters away.
A wide variety of townies prefer to consider themselves 'rich' although when insulting them of there income they prefer to reply with "oi, ya sayin' im poor?'. After this remark it is advised to exit hastly before they gather their "Posse" to "Beat tha' shit outta' ya".
Townies have managed to produce their own language which manages to reproduce the word 'Fuck' in each sentence. Other words are abrehivated english words such as 'Innit' (Translation: Isn't it)Unfortunatly this is only the only word that makes sense to a normal human being.
It is advised to avoid eye contact with any townie otherwise you may become "in for it". To retaliate can result in injury of the victim. This consiquently will inflate the townie's overated imaginary ego.
If approached it is wise to use bigger words such as "unnecessary". This will confuse them and will give time for an exit.
Stay safe...dont show any emotion with a townie and his/her posse!
TwigZ xxx
Target: Everybody who doesn't look like them (E.g. Goths, Grungers ect..)
Usually based around the coasts and inner city areas. The common townie prefer to wear rolled up addidas trousers with a distinctive double white strips running up the outside of both legs, along with matching nike trainers with ugly mooboot style grips on the underside however the most common townie will have no colour co-ordination what-so ever and mistakenly think purple and green look as they say "Cool mate".
Wear hoodies which are beige, blue or occassionally black and baby blue or pink for the females. Avoiding labels at all costs however, replace them with words such as "Cuba, 1976, Baby, Princess, ect.." all of which have no actual meaning to them.
Topped off with "massive" amounts of jewerlly which they call by the name "Bling Bling".
* For the male of the townie species "Bling Bling" will be one gold stud and perhaps a chain around their necks which originate originally from the female jewerlly section in the argos catalogue.
* For the female townie species they prefer to wear ridiculously "massive" gold looped earings bought from claire's accessories for 50p in the sale which they claim to be worth £20, hands covered in 10p rings, and several gold crosses and chains which originated from their arch enemy: The "Goth" or "goff" as they prenounce.
The majority of townie morons have pizza faces and as a insecurity accuse others to be "f***in' mingers" (minger meaning: ugly bastard/bitch). However the female townie attempts to cover their blemishes with tonnes of cheap make-up, blue mascara, with a lining of thickly spread silver eye shadow across the eyelids. The consiquence of this creates an orange glow which can be noticed from several meters away.
A wide variety of townies prefer to consider themselves 'rich' although when insulting them of there income they prefer to reply with "oi, ya sayin' im poor?'. After this remark it is advised to exit hastly before they gather their "Posse" to "Beat tha' shit outta' ya".
Townies have managed to produce their own language which manages to reproduce the word 'Fuck' in each sentence. Other words are abrehivated english words such as 'Innit' (Translation: Isn't it)Unfortunatly this is only the only word that makes sense to a normal human being.
It is advised to avoid eye contact with any townie otherwise you may become "in for it". To retaliate can result in injury of the victim. This consiquently will inflate the townie's overated imaginary ego.
If approached it is wise to use bigger words such as "unnecessary". This will confuse them and will give time for an exit.
Stay safe...dont show any emotion with a townie and his/her posse!
TwigZ xxx
As the Goth stands with his girlfriend. The townies approach their victims. As the goths glance in the townies direction for a split second the townie catches on and starts to approach the goth...
Townie: "Oi goff startin'?"
Goth: "No...i'm not"
Townie: "Ya f***in gay batty"
Goth: "What...?"
Townie: "I'm gonna f***in beat the sh*t outta' ya"
Goth: "Erm...wat have i done to you to start this"
(townie replies with random amounts of noises before goth gets impatient and walks away)
Townie: "f***in batty, i got 'im good"
Townie: "Oi goff startin'?"
Goth: "No...i'm not"
Townie: "Ya f***in gay batty"
Goth: "What...?"
Townie: "I'm gonna f***in beat the sh*t outta' ya"
Goth: "Erm...wat have i done to you to start this"
(townie replies with random amounts of noises before goth gets impatient and walks away)
Townie: "f***in batty, i got 'im good"
by Twiggz August 23, 2004
American definition:
1. For education institutions located outside of cities, a townie is a person who lives and works near the institution but is not affiliated with the school itself. These people are lowly paid and poorly educated.
2. A person who grew up in towns.
1. For education institutions located outside of cities, a townie is a person who lives and works near the institution but is not affiliated with the school itself. These people are lowly paid and poorly educated.
2. A person who grew up in towns.
The Simpsons:
"stupid townie!"
Homer: "Hey! It's townies like me that cook your food and clean your bathrooms!"
"If you did the former better, we would use the latter less!"
Homer runs off crying
"That's it townie! Run! Run back to your town!"
"stupid townie!"
Homer: "Hey! It's townies like me that cook your food and clean your bathrooms!"
"If you did the former better, we would use the latter less!"
Homer runs off crying
"That's it townie! Run! Run back to your town!"
by TonyZee April 13, 2009
stupid raggy people who wear blue reebok trouser tucked into white donnay socks,with white fred perry hoodies from market and burberry hats pointing 2 the sun and loadsa fake gold rings and cheap jewelery from argos.
Found sat on benches drinking cider and starting on `normal people` for no reason even though der all faggots.
Found sat on benches drinking cider and starting on `normal people` for no reason even though der all faggots.
by townie h8r 4 ever February 25, 2004
complete and utter retards who have nothing better to do than swear and shop in jjb etc.they have rings and are genrally pregnant by 11. They are thick.
they also like to beat up people who say anything.
they also like to beat up people who say anything.
ere mush come ere so i can bray ya. Who are you touchin. Dick. FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!
by tom murphy January 27, 2004
Townies can be identified by the following:
1. 'Bling'
2. Not being aware of any high street store, merely the market places that sell fake copies of items in high street stores for 1% of the price. Don't complain though ... At least they're only wearing what they're worth.
3. Ciggies
4. Usually drop out of school at 14, pregnant or having got someone pregnant.
5. Have the annoying habit of addin 'like' onto the end of all their sentences, like.
1. 'Bling'
2. Not being aware of any high street store, merely the market places that sell fake copies of items in high street stores for 1% of the price. Don't complain though ... At least they're only wearing what they're worth.
3. Ciggies
4. Usually drop out of school at 14, pregnant or having got someone pregnant.
5. Have the annoying habit of addin 'like' onto the end of all their sentences, like.
Me: I have nothing personal about townies.
Townie: What a doing, like? Yooo wan a slap, like. B************!
Townie: What a doing, like? Yooo wan a slap, like. B************!
by the_end_is_nigh (myspace) September 02, 2005