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Tolkie

A person who read Tolkien in Junior High, and never really got over it. The guy who quotes the Silmarillion like it was the inspired Word of God. The guy who thinks the movies are crap because they don't pronounce the Sindar dialect correctly.
"I saw LOTR on opening night, and the place was full of Tolkies. I was like, 'shut up and enjoy the movie!'"
by timecube June 16, 2004
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The Tolken

The Tolken, a sexaul position taken from the parody of the length of the "Lord of the Rings," motion pictures and the book written by J.R.R. Tolken. This is where a woman in bent over and has her ring destroyed over the series of 6 - 8 hours by some men, some dwarves and some elves.
Man 1: "I was re-enacting LOTR last night, I gave my bird the Tolken and she fair can't walk right anymore. =D"

Man 2: "Alrighhhhht!"
by Pseudopseudonym September 16, 2009
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Tolkein Cock

Anything branded with the "Lord of the Rings" name for the sole purposes of making money off the hopeless nerd that will buy anything with "Lord of the Rings" on it and a price tag.

Made up exclusively by me.
Nerd: "Hey look at the new Return of the King game!"
Me: "Looks like just another box full of Tolkein Cock"
by JDM December 7, 2003
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Tokien Nerd

A really loser fan of really really super kool movies and books. Can repeat any chapter, and speak elvish. Also stalks many of the stars.
Shakespears' got nothing on Tolkien, he invented Elvish, Shakespears only got English
by Homefrog February 17, 2004
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Tolkiening

towl - keen - eeng
verb
The act of performing a 'blumpkin' while the blowjob giver is also providing a urethral enema of alcohol to the blumpkin, and thus Tolkiening, recipient.
A dense play on the words of 'sounding,' 'blumpkin,' and creative liberty.
Morty: Ah geez Rick, I don't know if I can go on this adventure with you.
Rick: Morty, why. Why Morty, you always do this to me Morty.
Morty: I'm sorry Rick. Jessica agreed to come over and you know, Rick, ah jeez, I just said yes to everything. She ending up Tolkiening me for 30 minutes and now I have a crazy hangover, my penis is sore, and I have the beginnings of some hemorrhoids from sitting for so long on the toilet Rick. Ah jeez man.
Rick: Sit tight Morty. I can fix the physical shit Morty, but I can't cure your idiocy.
by George RR Martini July 30, 2024
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Tolkein

(Adj.) The characteristics consistent with the original writing and intent of J.R.R. Tolkein and his works, such as literary Romanticism, poetic dialogue, and characters who believe in a greater good than themselves.
Aragorn: Rings of Power doesn't feel very Tolkein.
Arwen: Why? It's still about Middle-Earth.
Aragorn: Yes, but the heroes are depicted as virtuous solely because they believe in themselves, and the narrative seeks to blame humans for the evils of the Orcs. That's not Tolkein.
by Pylot October 13, 2024
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