Kelp Dick

The affliction of spending too much time boogie boarding, or sea activities until it inflicts you with a case of kelp in or on your genitalia. Whilst looking and smelling horrible, it somehow fascinates the females of the species.

Tobes: Migs, come on man - stop surfing we've got to go hit the bar for TSBs!!
Migs: Nah man, chicks will dig my Kelp Dick ! Give us ten minutes

by MickeyDangerous May 29, 2009

california kelp forest

When a woman does not wash her genitals for an extended period of time, which causes her pubes to become matted, resembling long strands of kelp. It will likely cause the smell to resemble a trash-riddled kelp forest.

I went home with Trashy Tracy™ last night when when I got hammered. She had the nastiest California Kelp Forest, even worse than Nasty Natalie™

by Ritapopper12 January 9, 2018

Put Down the Kelp

Means stop sucking dick. In spongebob, theres an episode where the krusty krab sells Kelp drinks and it shows spongebob slurping on the straw, so it means stop slurping on dick.

Matthew: "Oh my god Nathan, you have the best handles and the best shot in basketball and youre really good."
Nathan: "Thanks?"
Nick: "Put down the kelp matthew, jheeez"

by fumastyle November 5, 2017

Not If I Can Kelp It Burger

An admittedly unusual, special Bob's Burgers burger that features kelp

"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's the Not If I Can Kelp It Burger, you should try it!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 16, 2018

kelping

Term used for when the intention of a message is entirely missed and the response given is of no resemblance to the first spoken phrase

An example of using the verb kelping

Person 1: (any text here)
Person 2: Ooh, it's the firecrackers.
Person 1: What? Are you on drugs again?
Person 2: Sorry, i kelped!

by ciqc May 25, 2024

Kelp/Kelpii

The most amazing person in the world, can comfort you when you’re at your lowest. They’re gorgeous and adorable, refuses to believe it. They’re the best friend you could ever have and can tell whenever you’re upset. They’re into flirty and platonic friendships.

“Damn that person looks fun to talk to”

“No shit bro their name is Kelp/Kelpii”

by Rosu3ek November 13, 2022

spongebob kelp

(noun) A substance that many Jamaicans and hippies smoke. Commonly known as marijuanna or weed.

Jamaican guy 1:Yo mon, you got any o' dat spongebob kelp mon?
Jamaican guy 2:Yes, mon lets smoke it mon.
Happy Jamaican people :)

by That Mon Mon November 23, 2013