The affliction of spending too much time boogie boarding, or sea activities until it inflicts you with a case of kelp in or on your genitalia. Whilst looking and smelling horrible, it somehow fascinates the females of the species.
Tobes: Migs, come on man - stop surfing we've got to go hit the bar for TSBs!!
Migs: Nah man, chicks will dig my Kelp Dick ! Give us ten minutes
Migs: Nah man, chicks will dig my Kelp Dick ! Give us ten minutes
by MickeyDangerous May 29, 2009
Get the Kelp Dickmug. When a woman does not wash her genitals for an extended period of time, which causes her pubes to become matted, resembling long strands of kelp. It will likely cause the smell to resemble a trash-riddled kelp forest.
I went home with Trashy Tracy™ last night when when I got hammered. She had the nastiest California Kelp Forest, even worse than Nasty Natalie™
by Ritapopper12 January 9, 2018
Get the california kelp forestmug. Means stop sucking dick. In spongebob, theres an episode where the krusty krab sells Kelp drinks and it shows spongebob slurping on the straw, so it means stop slurping on dick.
Matthew: "Oh my god Nathan, you have the best handles and the best shot in basketball and youre really good."
Nathan: "Thanks?"
Nick: "Put down the kelp matthew, jheeez"
Nathan: "Thanks?"
Nick: "Put down the kelp matthew, jheeez"
by fumastyle November 5, 2017
Get the Put Down the Kelpmug. by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 16, 2018
Get the Not If I Can Kelp It Burgermug. by kathpacito June 15, 2018
Get the Kelpmug. a word used to refer to a little kid - usually a naughty little kid, or mischievous wild rascal. Derived from Scottish 'Kelpie' which is a water spirit (or sprite, or imp or... you know those kinds of folklore-ey things).
They roasted their marshmallows and then the little kelps only went and tried to stick the marshmallows on Grandad's head!
by Writer Woman February 4, 2023
Get the Kelpmug. by Deifiner111426 February 9, 2021
Get the KELP YOUR ASSmug.