granola hoe

granola girls, but sluttier. they like hiking and biking and nature, but wear short-shorts and crop tops. they eat natural foods because it’s good for you but also to keep that figure slim. most likely accompanied by a granola boy, whom they are probably dating, or have known since their very first year in summer camp. granola hoes don’t wear a lot of makeup, they are naturally really pretty, and a lot of boys find them attractive. they own hydroflasks with stickers from places they have hiked at, and tie friendship bracelets to the lids of them. they also use kanken backpacks in a pastel shade, and own either the green or purple iphone 11. granola hoes are usually found on trails, which are their natural habitat. catch one if you can.

“bro check out that chick, she’s hot”
“she gives total granola hoe vibes”

by simp for you June 20, 2020

Granola's Witness

An environmentalist who excessively preaches his/her save-the-earth lifestyle to others to the point of being truly annoying.

"My landlord told me to not put my lawnchair in the back yard because it may kill the grass, and says i don't recycle enough."
"Wow! He's a real Granola's Witness"

by limeyluke007 September 30, 2009

granola state

A reference to California: the land of fruits, flakes and nuts.

Dude, it's beautiful and a good time, but a lot of the people are definitely "touched" in the granola state.

by Mack C March 18, 2007

granola kid

constantly wears Patagonia and all those brands, look like they belong in a granola bar commercial, they seem like a earthy organic person that have sandals like burks or chacos

that’s a granola kid

by yolos February 23, 2021

granola mom

a mom who is zero-waste, likes hiking and the outdoors, eats organic and “natural foods”, and uses essential oils to cure everything. she owns many plants and drives an suv. a hippie.

“did you see her reusable grocery bags?”
“yeah! she must be a granola mom”

by kalchippy May 3, 2021

granola dyke

A lesbian of the birkenstocks-wearing, tofu-eating, folk music-loving, "earthy crunchy" hippie variety. Often seen with an acoustic guitar.

Susie's last girlfriend was a dreadlocked granola dyke named Crystal Windwomyn.

by Cimmerian Southpaw October 9, 2003

Granola Boy

boys who like hiking, running, climbing things- wearing handkerchiefs to catch the sweat when doing said activities. they also do a lot of organic food bs like making beer and growing veggies, or cooking a lot of meat. their pants are always slightly too short but they have great asses.

He's sort of a hipster but more of a granola boy.

by granolaboyluvr December 1, 2011