Phrase coined by Tucker Carlson to apparently mean someone who claims to be a stripper but is in reality a prostitute. According to Mr. Carlson it can be assumed that all strippers are in fact crypto-hookers. Also, according to his legal scholarship, such individuals offer less reliable evidence in courts of law and thus testimony from them should not be taken seriously even though they are under oath.
Tucker Carlson asserted that the testimony of a woman allegedly raped at an off-campus party hosted by members of the Duke University men's lacrosse team "is to be taken ... a little differently" from that of "an ordinary person" because she is "a crypto-hooker" who "hires herself out to dance naked in front of and ... sometimes sleep with ... strangers." From Media Matters
by daiglo May 5, 2006
Get the crypto-hookermug. Crypto enthusiasts who prey on people who are young in the crypto scene, taking advantage of them because they don't know any better
by kighafreewren January 15, 2021
Get the Crypto Pedomug. by Crypto Bandito September 2, 2017
Get the crypto banditomug. Someone who invests large sums of money into crypto-currencies, such as bitcoin, right before their values plummet.
by Gromitzy January 20, 2018
Get the Crypto-Cuckmug. Someone who either:
1. Is overweight, has a thin/ attractive face, but does a good job at hiding the fact that they are overweight (dark clothes, stripes, dresses).
2. Is of a relatively normal weight but is in the process of gaining weight.
3. Is of a relatively normal weight but has the genetic potential to gain weight (mother or father is overweight/obese).
1. Is overweight, has a thin/ attractive face, but does a good job at hiding the fact that they are overweight (dark clothes, stripes, dresses).
2. Is of a relatively normal weight but is in the process of gaining weight.
3. Is of a relatively normal weight but has the genetic potential to gain weight (mother or father is overweight/obese).
Don't hook up with her, she's totally a Crypto-fat. She looks great in the dark but she hides her wide load well.
by Art Heej February 19, 2011
Get the Crypto-fatmug. One who hides "nerdy" interests while maintaing an outwardly "normal" appearance, esp. someone who one would not expect to pursue such interests, such as a jock. A crypto-geek would usually be embarassed if these interests were revealed to his or her main circle of associates.
I didn't realize John was a crypto-geek; who would have thought the captain of the football team plays Dungeons and Dragons?
by Matthew Lind July 23, 2005
Get the crypto-geekmug. A high-tech term for hardcore gamblers or speculators who have made trading in digital currencies their god—some common symptoms are Trump-like lying, getting into massive debt, and insomnia.
Luxury rehabs are doing brisk business treating crypto addiction patients, by changing them exorbitantly—common treatments involve yoga, acupuncture, massage, and medication.
by Fasters February 5, 2023
Get the Crypto Addictionmug.