Crushing

A verb used to describe someone being very attracted to someone else. When someone has a crush on someone, they would be described as "crushing on him/her"

Ben: Hey, Sean. What's up?
Sean: Oh my god, I'm totally crushing right now.

or

Ben: Wow, Sean, that girl Julia over there looks pretty hot.
Sean: Yeah, I think I've developed a crush on her.
Ben: So you're crushing on Julia?
Sean: I suppose you could say that. Yes, I am crushing on Julia.

by Ben Harris May 1, 2006

fart cushion

The fart cushion effect occurs when you fart into a pillow or any other type of cushion. The cushion absorbs the farts for a while, but then if weight is applied later on, the cushion squeezes out the fart stench.

I totally tricked that girl into coming into my room, and then I smothered her with my fart cushion until she passed out.

by poopfetish September 10, 2012

boner crushing

The act of firmly pressing your erect penis into inanimate objects (e.g. a mattress, window, or door jamb) for the purpose of quenching desire or instilling fear and intimatidation into others.

Alex got so excited he started boner crushing the window at Rob's office much to Rob's shame and secret delight.

by Fitzmuenster April 24, 2010

dream crushing

What the brothers Briscoe do best.

"dream crushing gives me my powers!" said Lee Briscoe. "There is not a dream i can't crush!"

by coogan April 18, 2008

Crustianity

Crustianity is the original name for the religion that is now known as Christianity. As they are now, the Crustianity clergy of the time were all called Ninjas. Even though the Ninjas are a very moral and loving people, some corruption began in the church. A few powerful, yet mentally deranged members of the church were caught molesting young boys. These child molesters wanted to keep this a secret to continue these disgusting acts, but the Ninja council discovered their plan and banned them from Crustianity forever. Soon after their excommunication from the noble church, these men started their own church. They used the already established stories of Jeebus Crust and Crustianity to form a new religion. They changed the holy name of Jeebus Crust to Jesus Christ and created their child molesting religion of Christianity, where the clergy could continue to molest young boys in secret.

Crustianity is just as ridiculous as your religion.

by Jeebus Crust October 13, 2007

crushin' softies

Is a term of art used to describe a methodology employed by the US Military in an effort to siphon out homosexuals from service in response to the apparent lack of success of federal statute 10 U.S.C. § 654, or more commonly referred to as the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. If a male serving in any military branch is suspected of engaging in homosexual activity, they will be called before there superior officer and asked to crush softies with one of there peers. To "crush" the suspected gay will pull out his penis and press it against the penis of his crushing partner. The idea is that the male's penis will remain flaccid and non-erect when pressed against the other male's wiener if he straight, thus proving his true sexuality. However if his penis becomes erect (a boner), the male has failed the test, and undoubtedly likes to sex other males in the fanny, thus precluding him from further military service. (Other words/phrases synonymous with the test include: "the crush game", "bumpin' soft-dick", "hamin' sandies" and "Captain Crunchin"). A similar test has been used to target homosexual females, known as "crushin' tits", however results are generally understood as unreliable due to varying room temperatures and the fact that no one cares if hoes wanna scissor each other.

Soldier: "Lieutenant Nilbog I've got some serious news. Private Johnson just got walked in on making a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread and listening to Coldplay!"

Lieutenant: "Holy fuck. Go get Johnson immediately and bring him in here. You two are gonna be crushin' softies till we get to the bottom of this."

by General Goblincock April 14, 2010

Missile Cushion

The act of folding about a full arms stretched out length of toilet paper, three times, laying it softly on top of the toilet water, and leaving a monster shit on top of it so that the shit is emerged from the water (for extra stinkage) and a nice surprise for the next visitor to capture the full on essence of your beautiful turd. (Do what you will with your buttwipe, just don't let it get in the way of your masterpiece.)

I owe this all to the man who named this glorious act... Without it, it's just a shit.

I left a big o' missile cushion in the shitter at work for Johnson to see.

by Act: Don M. Name: Tim B. March 31, 2009