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crocked cock 

A penis that is drunk!
Sorry girls......tonight I have a crocked cock! Tomorrow I'll do you right.
crocked cock by JoeyBomm June 20, 2020
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Cracked.com 

A website which prides itself as "America's Only Humor Site" most often featuring some very interesting topics presented in a list form with a humorous outlook. While a great place to learn facts and be entertained, with a nice hint of benign satire, the writers of Cracked.com are starting to take things too far.

While these subjects may be quite interesting and informative , topics such as "5 Uncomfortable Truths About Rape on College Campuses" and "8 Terrifying Life Lessons From a Former Terrorist", do NOT belong on "America's Only Humor Website" despite how many little jokes they use decorate them so that they can remain funny while actually being deadly serious. What also doesn't belong on "America's only humor website" is pretty much all of the writer's preachy and one sided liberal bias, which causes the reader who doesn't share the exact same views to rather feel alienated and demonized by the writers WHOSE JOB IT IS TO HUMOR THEM NOT INDOCTRINATE THEM and also their many commentators many of whom only read Cracked.com because "Americas Only Humor Website's" idea of satire caters to a sense of humor (the "only humor") that suits their own views.
CRACKED.COM: "America's Only Humor Website" (DISCLAIMER: If you do not believe in Feminism, abortion, gun control, same-sex marriage or cannabis legislation, abandon all hope of ever writing for us. Don't read our articles. Don't contact us. Don't subscribe to our feeds. Cracked.com is a safe space on the internet for tolerance and from being judgemental of people towards their views, their educational background and their race.*)

* "Almost every republican is a white lower to middle class undereducated person from the south,meaning a majority of them range from stupid to dumbfuck stupid."
*" Republicans - The far right: stubborn gun wielding anti-abortion homophobes who want to run this nation."

(both copied and pasted from the opening lines of two different Cracked.com articles about republicans.)

Double Crunked 

When you are extremely drunk and super high at the same time
Im getting Double Crunked tonight fo sho!

back cracked 

Back Cracking is to have rough sex that disorients the person or gives them extreme pleasure.

To have your back cracked is to have rough sex.
She had her back cracked last night and won't be able to come to work today. ( She got some bomb dick that fucked her up so good she can't even work today)
back cracked by MSBN July 18, 2016

cracked my head open 

quite possibly the most fucking ridiculously exaggerated and stupid way to describe a very minor head injury, such as a tiny cut.
Bill: -hits head on wall
Mandy: dude, wtf did you do that for?

Bill: AW MAN I'VE CRACKED MY HEAD OPEN -shows pointless 'injury' off to friends. GUYS, LOOK I CRACKED MY HEAD OPEN

NO. THAT'S JUST A CUT. I COULD CAUSE MORE INJURY TO YOU WITH MY ARSEHOLE.

cracked out 

someone with intense focus and skill in a video game on the drug Adderall
cracked out by solicitify November 14, 2018