Atheist named Christian

A poor kid that ironically is named Christian even though they're an atheist. They constantly have to deal with people asking "Hey Christian, Are you Christian" In which you say no, And they end up saying "Then who are you?" This tends to annoy the living hell outta them. So please, If you ask that to one, Stfu

Griffin: Hey Christian, Are you a Christian?
Christian: -_- no i'm an atheist.
Griffin: Well if you're not Christian, Then who are you?
Christian: I'm a fucking atheist named Christian, Go fuck off.
Griffin: Why aren't you a Christian, you're named Christian. Its so ironic.
Christian: Omg shut the fuck up.
Griffin: You just said you're an atheist though! You can't have a god!
Christian: Fag
Narrator: Christian then walks off with a pissed off look after being heavily annoyed.

by SurvivingMining June 14, 2016

my christian server

a minecraft server that is designed for christians

player: frick
admin: dont swear on my christian server

by 👨🏻‍🎓 January 28, 2018

Devout Christian Mom

A Devout Christian Mom (DCM) is like my mom. She's the kind of mom who tries to control every aspect of her kid's lives in fear of her religion. She won't admit she fears religion, but inside she probably does. She believes anyone who is gay, believes in evolution, or thinks we should deal with climate change is a Satanist. If you're her kid, you're screwed. She thinks spanking kids only serves to make them strong and brave. She'd prefer to give a kid a shitty religious education rather than a public school education because, "God said so", or whatever she believes.

Normal kid: "Aw crap, I tripped!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Did you just say CRAP!?"
Kid: "Well, yeah..."
*Kid gets sentenced to being spanked ten times every other day*

Kid: "I can't take this! I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!"
Devout Christian Mom: "WHAT!? Come on, we're going to have you talk to the pastor. You have been playing those violent video games again!"
Kid: "We don't even have violent video games in our house!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Are you saying that I'm a fool!? More spankin's!"
*Kids gets even more depressed and hateful, and eventually kills himself*

Devout Christian Mom: "WHY DID THE DEVIL HAVE TO MAKE MY BABY LISTEN TO RAP MUSIC!? Oh Ronald Reagan, PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK!"

Reagan's ghost: "Shut up lady. My only advice for you is to get yourself spayed."

Devout Christian Mom: "Birth Control is evil! How dare you. You aren't the real Ronald Reagan, you're SATAN!"

Reagan's ghost: *Floats away in frustration*

by Mr. big E. March 23, 2019

Westover Christian Academy

Bunch of punk ass niggas wont let a nigga live fucking giving detention to every single thing I do shitt let a nigga live and breath they are up your asshole trying to find any fucking mistake you did

I fucking hate Westover Christian Academy since its faculty as fucking retarded.

by Rog strix g15 laptop gaming April 23, 2023

Central Arkansas Christian CAC

A private, Christian school in north Little Rock. CAC takes pride in their students looking like they are 'good' people. A student cannot have attraction towards their own gender (which is different than homosexuality) or they will be kicked out. There are many other specifications that a student must 'be' or follow. The president and principle of CAC takes pride in making sure every student looks like a perfect person. A person was asked to leave after people joked that he would shoot up the school and the president, Dr. lambert harassed him for it, assuming that he was guilty. African-Americans are also called the "N" word there, people are very racist to them, even some of the teachers. The school is very messed up in many ways. I really can't wait for them to be publicly exposed (for the sake of all things Holy, lol).

Person#1: "I will be transferring to Central Arkansas Christian CAC"
Person#2: "But you're black??? Don't you know you'll hate it?"
Person#1: "I hear that they try to represent Christ and accept everyone, right?"
Person#2: **Rolling on the ground laughing** "Get a clue"!

by your real name. May 1, 2020

mount dora christian academy

located in mount dora . all little bitch white boys go there that are hoes

he go to mount dora christian academy

by no tea no shade just facts September 9, 2019

christia

Christia is the most gorgeous girl you will ever met in your lifetime with a smile that can melt your heart in seconds, she is very smart, and loyal but has a way of defending herself from being hurt by anyone! She has a great since of humor nd loves music preferably older rap. So if you get your hands on a christia dont mess it up!

"Christia is the most pulchritudinous person you will ever know."

by Inccredible May 18, 2016