The most homophobic, Controlling, And total pain in the ass parent alive. While the soccer mom is a terrible beast the Christian mom beats them, this mother will do anything in her power to shield her poor child from everything and will force Jesus upon them, making them go to church everyday, going to a Christian school, going to church camp, and many more activities. If you sadly stumble apon them and disagree with them they will end you
" sorry my mom said i can only go to church camp not art camp"
"damn your mom is a Christian mom that really sucks"
"damn your mom is a Christian mom that really sucks"
by shirtt January 15, 2018
a mom who stereotypes almost everything, doesn't let there kid play anything rated above T, their kid can only listen to Gods plan,thinks all metal is evil, and is terrified of muslims.
by ooga booga2 May 7, 2019
christian's mom is a very sexy and naughty woman that likes to get anal from bobby until her butthole bleeds and loves ass to mouth very much. christian doesnt know about his mother's sexual tendencies, but bobby likes to remind him as often as possible
bobby: man, christians mom can suck the juice out of my balls.
christian:man, thats not true, i hope.
christian:man, thats not true, i hope.
by kronik420 December 2, 2006
A Devout Christian Mom (DCM) is like my mom. She's the kind of mom who tries to control every aspect of her kid's lives in fear of her religion. She won't admit she fears religion, but inside she probably does. She believes anyone who is gay, believes in evolution, or thinks we should deal with climate change is a Satanist. If you're her kid, you're screwed. She thinks spanking kids only serves to make them strong and brave. She'd prefer to give a kid a shitty religious education rather than a public school education because, "God said so", or whatever she believes.
Normal kid: "Aw crap, I tripped!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Did you just say CRAP!?"
Kid: "Well, yeah..."
*Kid gets sentenced to being spanked ten times every other day*
Kid: "I can't take this! I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!"
Devout Christian Mom: "WHAT!? Come on, we're going to have you talk to the pastor. You have been playing those violent video games again!"
Kid: "We don't even have violent video games in our house!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Are you saying that I'm a fool!? More spankin's!"
*Kids gets even more depressed and hateful, and eventually kills himself*
Devout Christian Mom: "WHY DID THE DEVIL HAVE TO MAKE MY BABY LISTEN TO RAP MUSIC!? Oh Ronald Reagan, PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK!"
Reagan's ghost: "Shut up lady. My only advice for you is to get yourself spayed."
Devout Christian Mom: "Birth Control is evil! How dare you. You aren't the real Ronald Reagan, you're SATAN!"
Reagan's ghost: *Floats away in frustration*
Devout Christian Mom: "Did you just say CRAP!?"
Kid: "Well, yeah..."
*Kid gets sentenced to being spanked ten times every other day*
Kid: "I can't take this! I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!"
Devout Christian Mom: "WHAT!? Come on, we're going to have you talk to the pastor. You have been playing those violent video games again!"
Kid: "We don't even have violent video games in our house!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Are you saying that I'm a fool!? More spankin's!"
*Kids gets even more depressed and hateful, and eventually kills himself*
Devout Christian Mom: "WHY DID THE DEVIL HAVE TO MAKE MY BABY LISTEN TO RAP MUSIC!? Oh Ronald Reagan, PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK!"
Reagan's ghost: "Shut up lady. My only advice for you is to get yourself spayed."
Devout Christian Mom: "Birth Control is evil! How dare you. You aren't the real Ronald Reagan, you're SATAN!"
Reagan's ghost: *Floats away in frustration*
by Mr. big E. March 23, 2019
A mom who only likes "Halleluja" and "Jesus take the wheel".
A Middle aged christian mom also has around 49 unvaccinated kids.
Because vaccines are against the lord.
Edit: 2 minutes has passsed now, she only has 23 kids left.
A Middle aged christian mom also has around 49 unvaccinated kids.
Because vaccines are against the lord.
Edit: 2 minutes has passsed now, she only has 23 kids left.
Hi, i am a Middle aged christian mom.
Middle aged christian moms don't vaccinate because its "against the lord.
Middle aged christian moms don't vaccinate because its "against the lord.
by Middle aged christian mom June 20, 2019