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Absolut Value

The value of one's weight in absolut vodka. Multiply weight in lbs by 14.08 (Absolut vodka is roughly 88 cents per ounce).
"See that girl over there, the really skinny one?"
"Oh shit! She is so fucking skinny."
"I bet her absolut value is only 1300"
"I'd say 1200."
"Shiiet."

absolute value absolute vodka absolut vodka
by bennydre April 30, 2013
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Absolutely Not

She 100% likes the man bun
Me: “ do you like the man bun
Her: “absolutely not”
by Idevenknowyet September 12, 2020
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absolute koon

Tyrone: YAH BRO, JUST HIT THE JAX OFF A GIRLS THIGH!
Zach: You're an absolute koon!
by zacthemac October 31, 2019
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absolute fuckin unit

a chubby, spotty girl with a massive nose and forehead
by absolutefuckinunit March 9, 2019
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sitting awake at 3 am looking at goat pics, reporting morgz, and bing in a fucking stupid discord call with someone who have never met, and never will meet, because you have no real friends, no real life, and you are just overall a fucking failure as an individual. Meanwhile someone living about 10 mins away from you texts you that have been drawing dicks for the past hour for absolutely no reason other than that you probably ruined their life in some way, because you are a fucking cancer patient
its pretty damn gay having absolutely no life at all.
by lost_on_reddit July 27, 2019
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absolute mess

when one is found in a state of paralysis, vomit stains on their clothing and an elastic band placed around the head as a chin strap.

the male version tends to have their rod protruding from the zip area of the lower garments.
'I seen your man (TQ) in an absolute mess outside the bar on Sunday'
by jamiej13 May 28, 2014
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absolutely wallpapered

Absolutely wallpapered is when you have drank so much alcohol and smoked so much weed that you are absolutely wallpapered and can’t even get up to go for a wee
“I need a piss mate but I’m absolutely wallpapered that I can’t be arsed going for a wee”
by Stayout February 27, 2019
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