Absolute speed

Absolute speed also known as maximum speed is a theory about how anything with mass moves through multiverse spaceat speeds faster than light which constantly increase. Due to lack of friction (because there is no atmosphere), gravity and changes in physics or lack of them this is possible. This theory also tells that everything travels with absolute speed not just light so we can say that everything travels as fast as light (since the speed of light also increases) or faster. Because this speed is constantly increasing we currently can't mesure it since we don't know the entry speed.

That piece of paper travels through the multiverse space at absolute speed.

by Yesverymuch December 18, 2018

cripple speed

when someone does something either really slowly or in a really inefficient manner, as a cripple would.

he only goes at cripple speed.

by dennyg March 21, 2020

speed jacking

Attempting to perform (or make the sound of) someone jacking-off at an immense speed.

"I heard my parents come in the house, so i began speed jacking to finish quickly."

by Capt. Ginger July 1, 2017

speed insurance

What you get when you see a lowered Honda Civic DX fly by going 20 mph faster than you on the freeway. You may conclude that, for the next few minutes, any radar-gun toting cops will be attracted to this beacon of traffic tickets. Not valid over long periods of time, as the Civic may get off on any off ramp.

One cannot use this too much as you yourself might become someone else's speed insurance.

I was driving down I5 when a Corolla and an Accord estate started street racing in front of me, I cruised 10 mph faster for the next 10 minutes thanks to my newfound speed insurance.

Whenever I see an 89 Camero supposedly "burn me" in the carpool lane I sit back and enjoy my speed insurance.

by M8dTyteDrift0r November 24, 2010

Speed Spood

Trevor describing something extremely fast.

Trevor: I got the speed spood boat
All of us: YES!

by nazi bitch May 8, 2020

Speed Jerking

The act of jerking ones member at an unusually fast pace - hurried masturbation. Risk of injury can occur. Speed jerking should only be done in times of emergencies and/or used at ones discretion.

Pete can usually be found speed jerking at work in order to get to his next meeting on time.

by vandalny721 July 16, 2019

Speed Skipping

Taking Adderall and XTC together.

"Woah I didnt know ur eyes were all black"
looks at pupil
"im speed skipping"

by woahimbomb April 10, 2009