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Porch spider

Soulless, spineless, and money hungry, member of the succubus species. Feeds on pitty, drama, and bullshit. Will attempt to use its wits of a broken oreo to lure in its mate. Once mating season arrives it will try to use its wet paper sack giblet wound to attract its mate.
Stay away from tree nut street, that porch spider is in heat.

That girl look like an ole porch spider!
by OIC-U-812 August 2, 2021
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Porch Panda

During the match of a PUBG or Fortnite game the word you would use to describe the black avatar that kills you and takes your shit....
Dude that "Porch Panda" just fucking killed me with c4 what a fucking twat
by OGPORCHPANDA July 6, 2018
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no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me is a saying that is usually uttered when someone or something is incredibly attractive, hot, or sexy.
no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me. - Twitter User
by TheTellerofTheTellings March 21, 2024
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Porch Monkey

A monkey whom enjoys residing on a humans porch or patio.
"Damn them porch monkeys are back on my porch, they better not eat my chair!"
by Gaulk and Bawls July 26, 2022
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Porch Fishing

Noun:

The act of placing a fake package, or "bait box" on a porch or driveway to entice a "porch pirate", aka mail thief, into stealing it. It usually contains something unpleasant such as pet feces or dirty dirty socks. Some people on YouTube have gone more elaborate and built glitter flinging devices or packages connected to shot shell primers to scare the thief. And some just put something in the package to waste the thief's time.
"I used to have a bad case of porch pirates until my neighborhood started porch fishing. After that it cleared right up. Thanks porchfishing.org!"

"Going Porch Fishing? Don't forget to buy some shit at PorchFishing.org'
by @pdxTurdHunter March 23, 2023
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sweep the porch

To brush away lint, crumbs, dandruff, etc. away from the pubic hair of an individual prior to performing oral sex.
She was fine as fuck, but if you gotta sweep the porch to get in, you probably don't wanna go inside anyway.
by pbrdrunk January 10, 2017
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Porch Spam

Unsolicited junk mail flyers and adverts that litter your doorstep.
"I'm stepping out to get a burrito - cya in a bit."

<opens front door, triggering a rain of glossy cardstock all over the porch>

"Aw man, fucking porch spammers!"
by captain manly December 5, 2012
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