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absolute melon

An absolute melon is the person who can only say the most useless answers that contribute nothing the the conversation. They are always looking for attention and have IQ's lower than 4.
A: Says some dumb bullshit

B: You absolute melon
by waitwhatdoiputinhereagain August 18, 2023
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Absolute peckhead

Someone who has a skinny frame with ginger hair.
Person 1: fuck off lad I'll stab ya
Person 2 : oh Ben mate stop being an absolute peckhead
by Jimmy savie September 5, 2021
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Absolute Unit

A very large, obese cat.

In order for a fat cat to be considered an absolute unit, it must NOT be of a breed that is naturally very large in size (ex. a Maine Coon).

An orange cat that weighs 25 lbs = Absolute Unit

A Maine Coon that weighs 25 lbs = NOT an Absolute Unit
My cat Steve is an absolute unit.
by Ubeenbamboozledson April 5, 2022
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Absolutely Moronic

The state of being of completely and utter foolishness and stupidity
Ex:

Jill: Dean thought I shit in the cheese so she washed all of it in the sink

Mike: WHAT THE FUCK. DEAN GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY MORONIC.
by chadeesa October 2, 2025
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absolutely fucking massively gay

steve: "im gay"
cole: "but im absolutely fucking massively gay!!!!!!!!!!!!11!1!!!"
by me3053082084130 February 10, 2022
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absolute wah

The funny waluigi and wario phrase. except absolute wah means very based

WAA AWA AWA WAA WA AWA WANYA
(waddle dee reference)
person: look!!! see that goomba
person 2: yesh. what about it??? (yesh intentional)
person: it is an absolute wah
by sh1dandp1zz May 12, 2022
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Absolutely pulverised

When you are run over by a 400 ton truck
by She’s a baddie bro 10/10 February 22, 2023
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