Curb Hermits (noun) —
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
A subspecies of urban cryptid known for their sacred ritual of chain-smoking Marlboros on the same section of curb every day like it’s their personal throne of apathy.
These nicotine-powered philosophers emerge from unknown crevices at odd hours to contemplate life, loudly overshare trauma, and yell “you got a light?” at passing pigeons. Their natural enemies include: showers, employment, and any form of productive behavior.
Found primarily outside gas stations, 24-hour liquor stores, and anywhere weed smells like regret, Curb Hermits operate on a strict diet of American Spirits, Monster Energy, and unmedicated chaos.
Do not approach unless you’re offering a cigarette, gossip, or existential despair.
In the wild:
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
“Bro, don’t make eye contact with the Curb Hermits outside 7-Eleven. One of them asked me what year it was and then tried to sell me a dreamcatcher made of gum wrappers.”
by Heyitspatt May 29, 2025
Get the Curb Hermits mug.by emoafrican May 7, 2024
Get the Closer Look Curb mug.The colloquial term for the unexpected or expected drenching experienced when a passing vehicle drives through a puddle while a pedestrian is walking along the street; most commonly experienced during or after rainy conditions. It's akin to receiving an impromptu wash from the curb or road, resulting in being drenched and potentially necessitating a change of attire.
1. I had such a rough day at work. My boss was a jerk, I was swamped with mundane tasks, the weather sucked, and to cap it all off, on my way to my car someone totally curb washed me.
2. That puddle is in a prime location to curb wash someone.
3. Just saw this doofus get curb washed on the side walk. He should have taken the bus...
2. That puddle is in a prime location to curb wash someone.
3. Just saw this doofus get curb washed on the side walk. He should have taken the bus...
by yilliy May 10, 2024
Get the curb wash mug.1: v. To place another's head on the edge of the curb and stomp the back of their head, so as to break their teeth..
2: an genre of music where in heavy metal lyruics are paired with Dubstep Music.
2: an genre of music where in heavy metal lyruics are paired with Dubstep Music.
by TerraSouris March 1, 2024
Get the Curb Stomp mug.by Prof Paradox March 29, 2024
Get the curb diving mug.by Curbed man August 4, 2022
Get the Curb mug.A female roadman. Tomboy. They're athletic, chill with mandem. Often seen wearing black Airforce 1, eyelash extensions. Enjoys vaping or smoking joints on electric scooters.
by Sausagero11 September 8, 2022
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