Alaskan handjob

It’s a handjob with a slurpee as lube.

Guy: ya know, babe, our sex life is great but it’s time to ramp it up a bit!
Girl: I know you aren’t asking me for an Alaskan handjob!

by anonymous June 2, 2023

stinky handjob

A particular handjob exhibiting a particularly odiferous smell, ie) Hagrid and/or haggis

Bro that was a stinky handjob!

by waxonjackson420 June 23, 2023

Schrödinger's handjob

When you are asleep and having a wet dream, and you're not sure where it is a dream or whether it's your best mate wanking you off when you're sharing a bed

Ben woke up in pure euphoria and a wet patch, he rolled over to his best friend blake sleeping next to him. His euphoria swiftly turned to shock and exclaimed "oh fuck, I've had a Schrödinger's handjob"

by Hayden Schrödinger June 24, 2023

double-stacked handjob

To use both hands to stroke when giving a handjob.

Last night was crazy, my girlfriend gave me a double-stacked handjob!

by SneakierGoat November 2, 2023

Hobby Handjob

When two or more fans of a niche activity, normally strangers, engage in sharing stories, listing their collection, and generally nerding out, causing a flushed feeling within. Hobby handjobs can create lasting friendships.

I got a hobby handjob at an auto show last night. I think they are about to start a Hobby Handjob session. My husband is somewhere in the tool department no doubt having a Hobby Hnadjob.

by cdaworld January 16, 2024

Halliburton Handjob

The act of jerking someone off to distract them from the Alaskan Pipeline that’s about to be shoved up their ass.

Most frequently employed by DC lobbyists on various segments of the American public and by Amber Heard on unsuspecting romantic partners.

1. Dazzled by the company’s offer of thousands of good-paying factory jobs in exchange for tax cuts and reduced regulations, the city council was once again fooled by the old Halliburton Handjob.

2. After hearing of her boyfriend Brodie’s infidelity, Justine organized a gangbang and ambushed Brodie with a Halliburton Handjob in front of all his friends.

by Call Me Ahab January 20, 2024

Handjob

The act of a woman rubbing up and down on a man’s penis. This will make the man reach an orgasm and will cum.

Gabby and her boyfriend, Dj went camping together near a lake by themselves. Gabby and Dj were sitting by the campfire and got really bored. Then, suddenly, Gabby placed her hand on Dj’s pants and start undressing him. Dj was grinning and got a boner. Gabby started giving him a handjob. She rubbed his penis up and down until Dj cummed on Gabby’s shirt.

by Dickyiuh April 5, 2023