by johnnyknoxvilleshoe September 8, 2021
Get the Colin Hanksmug. The largest lumberjack, this side of the Mississippi. He can wrestle 3 bears with one hand behind is back.
Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.
Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.
Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.
Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.
Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.
Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.
Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Squirrel 1: Hank Boontz, don't do it!
Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.
Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.
Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.
Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?
Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.
Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*
Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.
Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.
Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.
Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.
Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.
Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?
Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.
Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*
Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.
Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.
Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
by Hank Boontz May 4, 2021
Get the Hank Boontzmug. by Hank film man September 23, 2021
Get the Hankingmug. To be scrutinized to the point of embarrassment. Usually by exposing critical flaws and weaknesses that prove the described entity unviable, usually by self-inflicted catastrophic failure.
by Randoma123 May 25, 2025
Get the Hankedmug. This guy seems super happy-go-lucky and wild in every way on the outside, to the point where it can be annoying. He probably has a large circle of friends, but none of them feel real. It's all superficial. He's just a popular class clown type to everyone around him. But he has a lot more going on under the surface and has no outlets to express that. So, get to know a Hank. You won't regret it. On the inside, he's charming, intelligent, and free. He's genuinely a nice guy, and he needs a friend.
by _Rubber_Duckie_ November 8, 2022
Get the Hankmug. Straight man that is constantly attracted to and frequently has sexual intercourse with lesbian women
by Cary Grants April 12, 2020
Get the Hankmug.