Emergency Dookie

An Emergency Dookie is a poop you pretend to take when your boss is walking back into the office so you don’t get suspected of slacking off.

Oh no! The boss is back! I can’t get caught doing nothing- time for an Emergency Dookie!

by Pandaphile December 2, 2025

Emergency Finger Corking

A high-stakes, deeply human moment when an urgent bodily situation forces an immediate, improvised solution to avoid catastrophe.
The name captures the panic, ingenuity, and split-second decision-making required to hold the line until relief is secured.

Possible causes:
• Sudden gastrointestinal betrayal
• Being trapped in traffic, a meeting, or a checkout line
• Overconfidence after questionable food choices

How to perfect this method:
• Preparation: Know restroom locations wherever you go
• Mindset: Stay calm — panic speeds failure
• Execution: Commit fully and do not second-guess
• Aftercare: Immediate bathroom access, cleanup, and a moment of silence

Examples in use:
1. “I was two steps from disaster — had to deploy Emergency finger corking to survive.”
2. “That wasn’t bravery, that was pure Emergency finger corking under pressure.”
3. “Traffic taught me a lesson today: never underestimate the need for Emergency finger corking.”

by EthanolLancx January 8, 2026

Minor Emergency Clinic

Any bar or tavern on your way home from work.

Man, I really need to stop at a Minor Emergency Clinic after work today!

by coolarrow February 20, 2011

breakfast emergency

In order to avoid the awkwardness of having to use a new girlfriend/boyfriend's bathroom after spending the night, one will fervently offer to run out and get breakfast. The point of which is to use the bathroom at Starbucks, McDonald's, etc.

"Hey hun, do you want me to go out and get us some breakfast?" breakfast emergency, please say yes!

"No, that's okay. I'm not very hungry."

"Are you sure? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." oh shit! please say yes, please say yes

"No, I'm sure."

"But, if you don't eat you won't have any energy today."
Listen woman, you do not want me here in 5 minutes!!

"Okay"

"Alright, I'll be back in a few." Thank you Jesus!!

by Roland1999 March 14, 2011

epipen emergency

a type of blowjob in which you take the epipen from a femal that has a peanut allergies then you stick your penis in a jar of peanut butter then make her blow you and make her finish you off before she dies then toss the epipen at her

man last night i was chillin with my girl and she said she wanted to give me a epipen emergency

by hehqhsheh2bs December 19, 2019

meta-emergentism

Proposal that free will is asymmetric self-similarity-from-the-future.

Whereas emergentism is NOT emergence meta-emergentism is meta-emergence.

by fightfacilities November 7, 2020

stochastic-emergentism

A paradigm in which momentum comes from the future; whereas force comes from the past.

Stochastic-emergentism declares that whereas momentum is unevenly distributed along a line; force is evenly distributed along a line.

This means that force is unevenly distributed along a plane.

The uneven distribution of force along a plane manifests itself as temperature change.

by fightfacilities November 15, 2020