Biola Brad (noun):
A male student attending Biola University or any Christian school where ring-by-spring culture thrives and chapel credits are mandatory. Recognizable by his broccoli-shaped haircut or tragic mullet and baggy thrift-store fit that somehow makes him look both feminine and deeply punchable.
Despite being surrounded by beautiful Christian women, he cannot hold a real conversation with one—thanks to a crippling porn addiction and the social skills of a wet paper towel. He values women only for their looks, not their personality.
Though scrawny, he hits the gym once or twice a week with his equally scrawny bros, hogs the bench press, and flexes aggressively in the mirror, convinced he’s making massive gains—despite looking exactly the same. He compensates by talking way too loud, over-explaining lifts, and pretending to coach his friends, thinking it asserts dominance. When a Biola Betty walks in, he grunts louder, loads up too much weight, and drops it dramatically, hoping she’ll notice—she doesn’t.
Still clutching his V-card (not by choice), he fumbles every romantic opportunity so badly he ends up as the “gay best friend”—despite very much not being gay.
A male student attending Biola University or any Christian school where ring-by-spring culture thrives and chapel credits are mandatory. Recognizable by his broccoli-shaped haircut or tragic mullet and baggy thrift-store fit that somehow makes him look both feminine and deeply punchable.
Despite being surrounded by beautiful Christian women, he cannot hold a real conversation with one—thanks to a crippling porn addiction and the social skills of a wet paper towel. He values women only for their looks, not their personality.
Though scrawny, he hits the gym once or twice a week with his equally scrawny bros, hogs the bench press, and flexes aggressively in the mirror, convinced he’s making massive gains—despite looking exactly the same. He compensates by talking way too loud, over-explaining lifts, and pretending to coach his friends, thinking it asserts dominance. When a Biola Betty walks in, he grunts louder, loads up too much weight, and drops it dramatically, hoping she’ll notice—she doesn’t.
Still clutching his V-card (not by choice), he fumbles every romantic opportunity so badly he ends up as the “gay best friend”—despite very much not being gay.
Biola Brad strikes again—he just fumbled a perfectly good conversation with a Biola Betty by talking about his fantasy football league.”
by ChapleChronicler February 19, 2025
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by Nizpak December 7, 2025
Get the Angel Bead mug.The posture of a human, usually named Brad, that’s indicative of many bad (but not evil) thoughts, people or circumstances that are about to annoy Brad.
When we met up with Brad at MILF beach, he was in full Resting Brad Stance . One hand in the hoodie pocket. The other holding the coffee cup, ramrod-straight spine and feet in a ready-position. You could almost feel the imminent anger. And sure enough, he was pissed at the shitty u-turn we made and that we were running late.
by Chaveline January 11, 2026
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Get the indian love beads mug.His name is Brad he enjoys long walks on the beach with strawberry margaritas listening to his fave tune California girls by Katy perry he also enjoys making cakes and sweet treats with his easy bake oven, his eyebrows are probably higher than the Eiffel Tower and he’s also very eco friendly so instead of driving a big truck like real men he rides his pink old fashioned bike in which they used to call a banana bike he probably enjoys riding those I’d assume. He also runs like a dinasoar with his unhyper extended arms.
by KachiggaMyNigga👅👌🏿 May 3, 2018
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