Skip to main content

rectal plumber

A trades man of the highest order in relation to realigning the internal pipework and plumbing of the rectal cavities of others by vigorous use of his lady tickler. Whether they be a male who is turdburgling another male, a man who is kicking in the back door of his lady friend. Or a lady who has strapped on a prostrate pulveriser to even the score with the man in her life. Rectal plumbing is never soft and gentle and is always executed with vim and vigour. Often accompanied by name calling and hair pulling. Energetic thrusting and circular movements of the phallic instrument within the fartbarn of the other person is a must. Often leading to next day fart barnacles and the inability to pass solid stools.
Dude what's wrong with your mum, she's walking funny, moaning and holding her stomach?
Oh, my dad has a Nobel Prize in rectal plumbing and I think whilst he was in there he adjusted her lower intestines. She always said "Don't give me a rich man, give me a rectal plumber who'll leave me feeling like I've been kicked in the baby maker"

See Jolene over there, I rectally plumbed her last night. Man I got up in that fartbarn like the Nazis storming into Poland. Got me an Iron Cross off the Furher for services as a rectal plumber.

So Sebastian how was your date with Peter?
It was like somebody superglued an octopus to end of a hammer drill, shoved it up my fartbarn and turned it up to max. That boy has crazy rectal plumbing skills. He's the rectal plumber I've been waiting for since Uncle Frank introduced me to cock all those years ago. Anal Arse fucking Anal devastation Reamed
by Fitz2815 February 23, 2017
mugGet the rectal plumbermug.

rectal hammar

The name givin to Somone who destroys recroms in a awesome way
Dude Taylor is such a rectal hammar dude he gave Bo a hammering
by Mcfluffin November 3, 2013
mugGet the rectal hammarmug.

Rectal specter

someone who frequently and compulsively makes subtle dirty jokes about common daily occurrences. or a person that takes pride in being a perverted douche canoe while not realizing how deconstructive it is to their social status, eventually becoming a ghost of their former sense of humor who people eventually start to hate.
If that rectal specter makes one more "that's what she said" joke im going to chris brown a bitch
by Sublimon January 22, 2010
mugGet the Rectal spectermug.

Rectal Swashbuckler

One who engages in jovial escapades and fantastic trips and voyages often times plundering raiding and looting for booty (pun intended). Inside the rectal region or ass with great abandon.
Nobody realized that Juan was a rectal Swashbuckler until we saw him go inside the club with the long line of all men out front.
by Yukon Jaçc The Rippa April 22, 2021
mugGet the Rectal Swashbucklermug.

Rectal Outcry

A fart- a toot- gas escaping from your butt
what was that? A Rectal Outcry--that smells horrible!
by HeartsAndFarts November 17, 2015
mugGet the Rectal Outcrymug.

Rectal Crunches

The simultaneously contracting your abdomen and sphincter muscles in a effort to conjure up a fart out of thin air.
Bob is amazing. The way he can blast a fart after a few rectal crunches deifies logic.
by Steve the Buckaneer March 10, 2019
mugGet the Rectal Crunchesmug.

Rectal urges

When one has the random urge to have their rectum sensationally masturbated or fucked the shit out of. This could be with fingers, a dildo or an erect penis.
Adam had the most severe case of rectal urges ever. He got a dildo and went up and down on that shit until he jizzed.
by Oggy Nelson February 3, 2022
mugGet the Rectal urgesmug.

Share this definition